Tag Archives: TSW30

Ten Quotes For The New Year(from Mandy Hale) aka the blog I meant to write all week

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1. If a man wants to be with you, he will make his actions clear. There won’t be any questions, murkiness, cloudiness, or fear.

Oh, this will preach. Basically, actions speak louder than words every time. If someone wants to be with you, nothing will stop them from being with you. You will not have to worry or wonder. You will not have to figure out your number in the line up. They will be plainly interested in you and you only. How do I know this? Because I have seen it, I have experienced it, and it is a truth in my life. 

2. You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows. 

This is true, but respect may or may not follow. A person who has no respect for you will not begin to have respect for your just because you get some standards, you just have to move on. I have begged a few dudes in the past to be with me(sadly enough this started in fourth grade). Hindsight is a mother. I now know that I don’t have to beg anyone to be with me. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, begging will not make it better. It will just make you look worse. 

3. Don’t ignore the love you do have in your life by focusing on the love you don’t have. 

Basically, don’t ignore your family and friends who love and support you through all of your ups and downs. This also holds true when you do get into a relationship. I think those of us who are believers try to cleave to another person before we are actually married to them. This can be very unhealthy and lead to disaster when the other person gets tired of you smothering them. I also learned this the hard way. Now I like to give people as much space as I can(I have my moments but for the most part, I let them decide for themselves how things will move forward). 

4. A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence. 

This is just so single women can continue to be busy while they are single. Some guys will resent your busy-ness if it stands in the way of your relationship. Again I would say that you need to have balance in your life. You can have your own life as a single woman, you just have to make sure you can make room for a partner otherwise, you will be too busy for a relationship. 

5. Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them, not because you need them.

Sometimes you have to be alone to find out who you are(for those who are always in a relationship). Take this time to find out what you really want in a relationship and what you have to offer someone. Take this time to let God lead you.

6. Love shouldn’t require Windex to be clear. It either is or it isn’t. 

I had to learn this lesson the hard way as well. People can say I love you for a variety of reasons and motivations. At the end of the day, the only thing that will matter are loving actions. This is so true for women to understand because women are more emotional than men and words give women the warm fuzzies and make them ignore horrible actions. If you have to make excuses for the other person, it isn’t love. If you cringe inside at their actions, it isn’t love. If you are an enabler, it isn’t love. 

7. Here’s a glorious thought: You don’t have to settle. Ever. In love or in life. 

This can be a hard lesson to learn. If you are not happy and you are settling, it won’t work out in the end. If you keep telling yourself that this is your only hope, it won’t work. If you have to make excuses for why it will work out in the end, it won’t work out. When you put God first and ask Him to direct your path and take you out of situations that are not good for you, you won’t have to settle.

8. Some steps need to be taken alone. Its’ the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be. 

This echos number five. The main person you need to have on your side at the end of the day is God. If another person is there, you are blessed. When you have the wrong person in your life, your perspective can get cloudy and you may be influenced to follow them and not where you are being led. 

9. You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens. 

This is true for each day. When you can truly let go and let God, you are closer to where you need to be. In fact, you are right where you need to be. This means that you can take your time and enjoy the ride. You don’t have to have your wedding planned after the first date. You don’t have to wonder what your kids will look like after the second date. You don’t have to take control after the third date. Just let life happen the way God has planned it. I know this is easier said than done, but as long as you try to do this, you can’t go wrong. 

10. The real fairytale is designing a life that’s so amazing, that you don’t want to be rescued from it.

Well, I think this can only happen when we allow God to design it. I think this has to do with contentment. I can’t say that I have my fairytale yet, I think I have a lot of good ideas. I like to think I am on the path to my fairytale. Again, only God truly knows.

Lots of food for thought

Shalom

TheSW30(30) Dear Future Mate

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Dear Future Mate,

                               I have been praying for you for so long. I have been on such a roller coaster in this journey called life and I can’t wait to meet you. A lot of people say that while God is working on us, He is also working on our future mate. I pray that you are continually filled with God’s love and don’t give up on looking for me. 

     I just want to apologize up front for the many, many, mistakes I have made while waiting for you. I had waited for such a long time(which turned out to be not as long as I thought). I was too short sighted to see that I needed to continue to wait. I saw brief glimpses of you until I found out that it wasn’t you at all. When I get frustrated and cry because I haven’t met you yet, I start to pray harder. I pray blessings and peace for you. 

     Thank you for doing what it takes to find me. Thank you for accepting me quirks and all. Thank you for showing me what love truly is. I pray that we have a long life filled with love and peace. Thank you for seeing through my walls to the heart of me. Thank you for showing me the truth about myself and bringing out the best in me. 

     I know that life is short and I just want to spend the rest of it in gratitude with and for you. I hope and pray that God continues to bless us and protect us in all that we do, until the appointed time that we are to be together. Always know that you are in my prayers and heart and I pray that I am in yours. 

     Sincerely,

                      Your future mate 🙂

     

TheSW30(29) What About Your (Online) Friends?

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     I was supposed to write about a close friend who I have never met. So since I couldn’t narrow it down, this is dedicated to my facebook and twitter homies. Thank you for all of the laughs, tears, and support. 

1. Thank you for understanding

2. Thank you for inboxes

3. Thank you for inside jokes

4. Thank you for always showing love

5. Thank you for making me laugh so hard I cry

6. Thank you for mail

7. Thank you for cheering me on

8. Thank you for the play by play of our favorite shows

9. Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful

10. Thank you for being you 🙂 

Shalom

TheSW30(28) A Big,Bold Move

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My whole life is filled with big, bold moves. I am bold in everything I do. I don’t hold back. My brain and heart just tell me the bigger the better.
In life I have no problem talking to people. I am the queen of the interview not necessarily in keeping the job. I feel like as long as I speak authentically and organically I can’t go wrong. Until I do.
I have made big, bold moves for work. I have enjoyed the adventure and lessons learned(I miss you Korea). I always think the grass is greener on the other side because I am always ready for new grass. Until I remember that the grass is new but its the same old me.
I make big bold moves with guys. The same way I have no problem talking to anyone, I have no problem asking a guy out or telling him that I like him. Until I have a guy express interest in me. Then I get freaked out. I’m awkward. I can’t handle it. I don’t believe that the guy really likes me. Even though its the only thing I want.
Today I had an interview and I thought I was in my element. Until I was asked a question that threw me for a loop. My whole demeanor and expression changed. I said I don’t know. I didn’t know what to say. So I was basically made to feel stupid at something that I really wanted and now I don’t even think its going to happen.
So now I’m just in a big bold blob of self doubt. I know that only God knows the outcome, I just wish I could feel differently.
Shalom

TheSW30(27) What Do You Love About Yourself

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This is very hard to write. That is why I put it off for most of the day. Even though I am a big proponent of self care, I don’t think about what I love about myself. I think about others. So my answers may sound weird because I don’t think about it.
1. I love my spirit
2. I love my laugh
3. I love my hair
4. I love my style
5. I love my heart
6. I love my attitude
7. I love my sense of humor
8. I love my resiliency
9. I love my awkwardness
10. I love my curiosity
These are a few things I love about myself.

Shalom

TheSW30(26) A Song That Makes You Cry

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One song that always makes me cry is “Sweet Sadie” by the Spinners. I only play it on the anniversary of my Mom’s passing. It is a great song that is usually played on Mothers Day.
Another song that makes me cry is “The Broken Road” by Rascall Flats. It is such a sweet song but it always makes me tear up no matter how many times I listen to it. The words are so beautiful. I think most people want someone that they can sing it back to.
Another thing that makes me cry happy tears are proposal stories and wedding stories. The sappier the better. I love to see and hear when people find love. It makes my heart happy.

Shalom

TheSW30(25) Paying It Forward

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     I have always enjoyed helping others. A few moments in particular are when someone makes my order wrong at Starbucks, I take both drinks and give one to someone who is working outside. Another way is when I am at the grocery store(and I have money) and the person is front of me is short on their groceries, I will pay the difference for them. I also like to feed neglected animals because I hate to see anyone go hungry. I think it is important for us to help those who are in need because we never know when we will be in a position of needing help from someone. I see it as a cycle of goodness. It also makes me feel good when I can help someone. 

How do you pay it forward?

Shalom

TheSW30(24) If You Could Relive One Moment…

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     Ah yes, the lovely do-over. I probably have so many days that I would want to do over that I cannot hardly count them. The thing about do-overs is that we really don’t get the chance to do them again. We can only move forward and not do that thing we did again. One thing that I try to do better is relate to others. I have the tendency to go above and beyond in my emotions if I like someone(no matter how long I have known them). So I have to do a lot of pausing and just sitting in the moment. That can be a challenge but it helps to let the other person shine. 

     Another huge do-over would be past relationships. They bring shame and guilt. I know they are lessons but those were some of the hardest lessons that I did not learn the first time. What I try to do now, is listen to my gut, and speak up for myself. So there is no confusion on where I stand(no matter how confused the other person may be). I have no problem laying my standards out on the table and not blinking if you cannot understand them or agree with them. That’s the beauty of standards, we can all craft our own, that make sense to us. My reasoning for this is also because I(apart from God) is the only one looking out for me, myself, and I. I know I could probably write down a million times where I threw me, myself, and I under the bus in exchange for a huge bag of nothing. I had slowly gotten tired of that and decided to change things up. The result is a stronger and healthier me, myself, and I. These are some moments in my life that I would love to do-over. In the meantime, I just have to put one foot in front of the other and do better. 

     Shalom

TheSW30(23) A Moment When You Got Annoyed With A Married Friend, A Friend In A Relationship, Or A Friend With Kids

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     Oh this is going to be a tough one. I have had so many moments in the past when I have been annoyed with friends. It is tough to know where to begin. This is also one reason why friendship is important because without friendship there would be more misunderstanding in my life. 

      I would get annoyed with married friends because it always seemed like they got to do cool couples stuff at church(like workshops, retreats, and dinners) while the singles would just be forgotten about. For the most part my friends did not throw those things in my face. I would get annoyed with friends in relationships because it always seemed like when they got into a relationship they forgot about me, or acted like we could not talk about things any more. This made me sad and lonely. Hooked up, boo’ed up, dating, engaged folk need to remember that their single friends are one of their greatest assets because we remember who they were before the relationship and we will love them through it, if it doesn’t last the test of time. I have not been annoyed with friends who have babies because they have never breastfed in public around me. I love babies so I have no reason to be annoyed with friends who have them. 

     I only get annoyed with these friends when they recite cliche after cliche about singles such as this gem “It will happen when you least expect it”. No dear friends, you did not just wake up one day in a committed relationship. You need to spill the beans so those of us who are still single can embark on our own committed relationship. 

     I get annoyed at the government at Tax time because I think we should all get an income credit and that married people should just have to split theirs. I am sure there are many more broke single people than broke people in relationships. As a result, I think single people should not be left out just because they are single. 

     When I do get annoyed, I figure that just means I have to pray harder. Everybody needs a little understanding in their lives. I know that my friends in committed relationships mean well. 

So here’s to more pray and good wishes for everyone single or taken 🙂

 

TheSW30(22) What Fictional Character Do You Identify With?

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I find that I identify with most of my favorite fictional characters. I think most women want to live a story book life. Sometimes God writes our stories in such a way that they are better than fiction.
Some days I think I am a Disney princess waiting for my prince. Wondering if he was turned into a frog or a pumpkin. Other days I think I am like Wonder Woman after a great workout.
Some days I feel like Elle from Legally Blonde because I can be so naïve. Other days I feel like GiGi from He’s Just Not That Into You because I am so hopeful and silly in this thing we call the dating game. When I am tackling a hard problem, I feel like JLo in Enough when she got strong enough to fight back.
But most days I just feel like good old me. Just taking life one day at a time and happy for it. I love the fact that I can still learn new lessons no matter who I may think I am today.
Happy Saturday!