Tag Archives: Love

A Blah Day

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     Today I managed to get a few more things moved(mostly books). I thought it would be a good idea to move the books before the clothes. I have high hopes for tomorrow. I am pretty sure I went on a sugar binge today. I just had a lot of junk. Not one of my best days. I am not sure what exactly is going on. I guess I just feel blah. 

     I heard about the shooting incident in California and I checked out the responses on Twitter and Facebook. I added my four cents to the conversation. Not too much, just a lot of experiences that I have had. Maybe I was feeling blah because of what happened and the responses that various people had to the situation. 

     So then I thought about SP and something was bugging me so I emailed him a bunch of stuff about communication and blah blah blah. Yes, I know that you are supposed to keep things positive and upbeat during a deployment but I mentioned my concerns and just basically said are we really communicating? Ok, that is a question. I also said if he wanted to keep it surface I would keep it surface. So I am just waiting to see his thoughts on it. 

     I got in five miles due to the moving and packing. Yes, I am counting it in my mind. So on that note, I am calling it a night. More packing and moving tomorrow. Hopefully I will get started earlier than today. 

Shalom

Namaste

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Productive

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  • First reading
    • Acts 17:22-31
  • Psalm
    • Psalm 66:8-20
  • Second reading
    • 1 Peter 3:13-22
  • Gospel
    • John 14:15-21

     This weeks readings speak of Christ at God’s right hand and the gift we have been given in the Holy Spirit. The reading in John mentions the Holy Spirit and how the world isn’t looking for the Holy Spirit. I wonder if we sometimes take the Holy Spirit for granted. This makes me mindful of all of the great gifts that God gives and how I can’t take any of it as not a big deal. If it weren’t for the Holy Spirit getting me through so many situations in my life, I would not have the testimony that I cling to. 

    Today I felt really productive because I was able to get a lot of stuff moved before the rain moved in. On my last trip, the rain started to come down and I took that as my cue to pick it back up tomorrow. Some of the neighbors thought that I was moving today. I let them know that I was still getting stuff ready for the move. I also counted these trips as my workout for the day. 

     I also managed to do my nails and toes(I like to try and do them once a week unless I am feeling super lazy). I looked up some beauty youtube videos and found out that I don’t put on nearly enough mascara lol. I have enough of it, so I think I can put a few more coats on(to get my desired look). I am also proud of myself because I did not whine about anything today. 

    I went to breakfast with my world traveling friend and she gifted me with cool earrings from Columbia and sweet treats from Japan(they were to die for). We had a fun adventure around the city just laughing and catching up. I didn’t tell her but I think she is my spirit animal. If you think I am positive all the time, she is 10x more positive than I am. She is such a sweet spirit. 

     Today I just did my best to be grateful for the little things. I heated up some leftovers and added some cornbread(it was delicious). Maybe delicious is an understatement. Then I wondered if the food I make is good because I made it or because I was hungry. Well, either way, it was really good. 

      Other than that, I am taking it easy. I am going to write SP a few letters and send him an email. It is Memorial Day weekend so hug or high five a hero 🙂

Shalom

Namaste

Funky Friday

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“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil 4:13

     Today was just a weird day. I really went through it today(internally). There is something about the N word that just boggles my mind. I am convinced it is the worst insult. Because so many different nationalities can just rattle it off like its okay. Due to the word not just being imprinted on our brain, I don’t give anyone a pass for using it. 

    So, I guess due to my feelings related to my day, I had french fries and ice cream(for lunch/dinner). I caught up with some friends. I worked out. Pretty much my usual Friday night. I watched some junk tv. I read a couple of magazines. Now I am just winding down listening to some of my favorite country songs. 

     I heard from SP this morning. I always get a big smile on the inside when I hear from him. I know it probably doesn’t make any sense why I would be happy about someone that I just reconnected with a week ago, but I am happy. He didn’t forget our initial time together and I think that is pretty nice of him. I’m just excited about wherever the road leads us. 

     In other news, exes and wannabe exes are coming out of the wood work. Not sure why, I haven’t really said anything outside of the blog. But I am quickly cutting them to the chase(by being as brief as possible). Like, the same way people don’t contact me because I am not on their mind, I have not been in contact with/deleted them because they aren’t on my mind. Its kind of funny that people would think I was holding out a torch for something that didn’t work. 

     I am excited about meeting up with a fun friend for breakfast tomorrow. I love breakfast and catching up with great friends is always nice. The funny thing is she invited me to a protest and this is how you know I’m getting old. I told her that I would love to go but I can’t risk getting arrested. She was like “We have the right to assemble” and I told her “Yes we do, but it doesn’t take much for brown people to get arrested”. 

    So tomorrow the plan is to continue moving stuff and getting bags somewhat assembled. Just one more thing to cross off of the list. I had an aha moment with my hair tonight. I looked up some hair videos(yeah I am one of those people) and what do you know. My hair is just a big sponge that loves moisture. So I treated it to a nice session of conditioner and oil(we shall see what happens tomorrow). The awesome thing about it was I didn’t shed as much and it really was a breeze to comb. The only weird thing is my hair is super soft(which I tend to totally ignore), so I have to work on treating it a little nicer lol. 

     Well I am off to write SP. I think he is doing this thing where he responds to one email thread. But I still send him a new email because that works better for my brain lol. One of my friends had asked me how things were going with him and all I could say was good. Because it truly is good. I mean I think it would be a huge mistake to have out of this world expectations thousands of miles away. So I am going with the flow. Also, the communication is flowing well so far. So, how can I be upset with that. I can’t. 

     Thank you so much for continuing to check out my ramblings(I know I make sense sometimes). It really means a lot. I still have no idea how the boyfriend post is so popular. But I won’t complain. I hope it does help people. Because Lord knows I have made so many mistakes as a single person. Like if dating was a set of dominoes, I just shook the whole set and then threw them against a wall and the dominoes just flew all over the place. That’s probably a good representation of my dating experiences.

     Now it just looks like a peaceful lake. Two people in a nice boat just taking a nice ride on the lake. For a person like me, that is awesome. Its amazing and grace filled. So I just take in every moment like a ray of sunshine and I let it soak in. It also helps me to see that I am enough in a relationship and that I can actually be in one. Because for so long I thought something was wrong with me. That there was no way that I could really have a relationship. Thankfully life is showing me much different. 

Shalom

Namaste

Count It All Joy

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“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds” James 1:2

     Today this verse was in my evening devotional. It is so true and beneficial. It sure is hard to see sometimes. This morning I had great ideas and plans for packing and putting things away. Well, my body had other plans. I just really could not get it together. So I took it easy and did a little bit at a time. I managed to do laundry and make my bed seem live-able. I was sure that I was going to take a nap and that didn’t happen. 

     I popped some cookies in the oven and that made the house smell great. Everyone was all smiles. Oh the fun of baking yummy treats. I miss that. When I was a kid, my Mom always baked cakes and cookies. Especially during the holidays. I can’t say I will ever be as good of a cook as her because she didn’t pass on her secrets to me. But I do my best. 

     I went for a nice run. The breeze made it all worth it. I talked to a few neighbors. Everyone seemed to be taking it easy. I didn’t hear from SP. I wasn’t upset. I know that he needs to get settled in. Also I just kept saying to myself that we were apart for two months without contact and I managed, so I can definitely handle a few days. 

     Well, I am off to send an email and try and get some sleep. I am tired also because I spent a huge chunk of time trying to get the blog organized and finally found the solution I needed(yay). So I hope it is even easier for people to navigate. 

Shalom

Namaste

On Cloud Nine

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“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God om Christ Jesus for you” 1 Thess 5:16-18

     Today was a really awesome day. I wonder if it was because I went for a run. Church was great. Not sure why but people kept saying they could really hear us play today. A compliment is a compliment. The sermon was great. I will blog about it tomorrow(because I am so tired). A lot of people told me that I looked nice today(which is always nice to hear). 

     I am in such a good mood because I was able to hear from SP. He was able to email me and call me. It was so funny talking to him in the middle of the grocery store. It was a good thing I had items in my basket because I totally would have just left the store without getting what I needed. It felt great to hear his voice. I did my best to listen. It felt like time had just stood still and nothing else mattered in that moment. I couldn’t stop smiling. So I plan on keeping these memories on my mind so that they last for awhile. 

     So if you see me and I have a big goofy grin on my face or I just don’t seem to be there, this is the reason why. Well, I hope you all have a nice evening. I look forward to what tomorrow has in store. 

Shalom

Namaste

     

     

Dear Future

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Dear Future, 

                     How are you? Are you thinking of me as I think of you? Do you wonder where I am the way I wonder about you? I know that I think about you a lot and I talk about you too. Whenever I smile, I like to think you are smiling too. When I hear something funny, I think that it would make you laugh too. Where are you? Do you pray for me as much as I pray for you? Do you think about things that I would like the way I think about what you would like too?

      Some people tell me that maybe we just passed each other by(like two ships in the night?). I always beg to differ because I am sure I haven’t seen or met you yet. Surely, I would have done all that I could to get to know you and have our relationship bloom. Surely, I would have said yes when you asked me out. I am sure I would have. 

     Oh Future, I have these dreams and plans that involve simple things like getting to know each other and building a relationship together. Am I in your dreams? Sometimes I have moments where you are a faint memory and then other times you are as real to me as my breathing. 

     I’m writing you today to let you know that God will make a way. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. Especially when all you can do is cry and feel sad and alone. Just remember I’m in the same boat and I know it will all be worth it when we do finally meet. I miss you on the days when it would feel so good to have you by my side. I miss you on the days when it is so hard that I just don’t know how God is going to get me through. I’m thinking of you Future and I hope you are thinking of me too. 

     Tonight I had a conversation and my heart started to beat. My palms got a little clammy because I thought I was talking to you. I gasped and remembered that it wasn’t you because I know that you would want me to respect you and myself by honoring God. I knew it wasn’t you when that voice kept trying to get me to change my boundaries, to release them all. I knew it wasn’t you when that voice ignored all of my wishes and desires to please God first. Future, you would be proud of me because I let him go easily. No it was not without tears or a deep welling in my bones. I believe those aches are for you and the heart that I hope to one day call my own. 

     Oh Future, you would have smiled as I told the person who hurt me a tad the truth. Because I know that you would never tell me it was too cold to come see me(seeing as we don’t live in Antarctica). I know that you would find a way or make a way to spend time with me, the same that I would do for you. 

     Future, I am doing my best to be honest with myself because I know that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I know that I only need to be enough for you and me. So pray for me as I pray for you. Hold on tight to what you know is true. Because one day God will bring us together in only the special way He can. 

    Oh how I can’t wait for that wonderful day, to let you know that you were worth the wait, and the heartache, and the pain. Future, you are worth it all and I cannot wait until I get to tell you these words in person. I know that people are happy when they are in love. When two people who are meant to be together finally join, it makes everything else worth all of the hardship to get to that point. 

     So sweet dreams Future, I hope to see you soon. Only God knows the day or time. I am sure it will be when it is meant to be and not a day sooner. 

Shalom

Namaste

What Love Lent Day 39

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Gracious God, for love you created all things and gave me life and strength that I might love you and know your love for me; as Jesus commanded us to love you with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor, let my heart rejoice in your love and let that overflow my life to those you call me to love. Amen.

     God does so much for us out of love. The very essence of our being He loves and cares for. God’s love is a comfort for the unlovable because He shows that everyone has some part of love in them. When we recognize our love for God,we only want to love others the same way He loves us. God’s love is all consuming. It never returns void. It always seeks the best for us. 

     I had big plans for the day and then I didn’t want to get out of bed. I managed to get out of bed and go to the gym. We had a different Zumba teacher. She went very fast. Thank goodness I remembered a lot of the moves. She played different music(which was also really good). She did the splits. I was impressed. After class one of the participants said that she noticed I had lost inches. I thanked her and thought that was really sweet. 

     Then I got in a circuit workout. There weren’t a lot of people at the gym. I guess because of Fiesta and it was a really pretty day out. Well, I ate on track today. I planned to start working on a paper today(I only managed to get an outline worked up). I hope to get more of it done tomorrow.

     One awesome thing is I got my laundry put away. Yeah, the same laundry I have probably been mentioning for the past week. I was able to clean up my desktop yesterday and I am trying to figure out how to have that same success with my email. I am so bad about deleting emails. 

Here’s to good sleep and a great tomorrow 🙂

Namaste