Tag Archives: Lent

Keep Me Lent Day 35

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By me, O my Savior, stand
In sore temptation’s hour;
Save me with thine outstretched hand,
And show forth all thy power;
Oh, be mindful of thy word,
Thy all-sufficient grace bestow;
Keep me, keep me, gracious Lord,
And never let me go.
Give me, Lord, a holy fear,
And fix it in my heart,
That I may from evil near
With timely care depart.
Sin be more than hell abhorred
Till thou destroy the tyrant foe.
(Charles Wesley)

     Today I literally did not want to get out of bed. I stayed up past my bedtime per the usual and dearly paid for it this morning. I got ready and ate breakfast. I was good until the bus now has to go past my stop so I have to walk backwards. Not an issue when I am early but an annoyance when I am running late. 

     Of course we had Krispie Kremes today so there went my food choices. Ugh, I hate that I do that. I tried to make up for it in lunch/dinner. I worked out. I put some laundry away(almost done). I did drink a lot of water today. 

     Well, this guy who I barely know hit me up today and was desperate to hang out(offering to take me to run my errands), I declined. We had a conversation and I let him know that he really needed to think about getting a sponsor and that I don’t roll with people who are new in recovery. Yeah, I know relationships seem like the be all and end all when we are new in recovery, but since I’m not so new anymore, I have no excuses. I meet a lot of people who think they know everything without listening or even reading the Book. I mean I know that I act like I know everything but in my defense I listen and I read a lot(not so much this week but usually). Also he gave me a creepy vibe when he said that he sees me all the time and he was trying to pin down my locations(thanks but no thanks). 

     The good thing is that these introductions are firming up my standards(they are getting iron clad). The down side is I haven’t met someone who is interested in me who actually fits the bill. I know I’m super busy so I am not stressing about it. Its just really making me think back about all of the nonsense that I did put up with in the past. You know people always say that you can’t ask for what you aren’t bringing to the table. So on that note, I know I need to take a few seats. I like to think of myself as a work in progress. 

     Be blessed!

Namaste

Keep Me Lent Day 35

Standard

By me, O my Savior, stand
In sore temptation’s hour;
Save me with thine outstretched hand,
And show forth all thy power;
Oh, be mindful of thy word,
Thy all-sufficient grace bestow;
Keep me, keep me, gracious Lord,
And never let me go.
Give me, Lord, a holy fear,
And fix it in my heart,
That I may from evil near
With timely care depart.
Sin be more than hell abhorred
Till thou destroy the tyrant foe.
(Charles Wesley)

     Today I literally did not want to get out of bed. I stayed up past my bedtime per the usual and dearly paid for it this morning. I got ready and ate breakfast. I was good until the bus now has to go past my stop so I have to walk backwards. Not an issue when I am early but an annoyance when I am running late. 

     Of course we had Krispie Kremes today so there went my food choices. Ugh, I hate that I do that. I tried to make up for it in lunch/dinner. I worked out. I put some laundry away(almost done). I did drink a lot of water today. 

     Well, this guy who I barely know hit me up today and was desperate to hang out(offering to take me to run my errands), I declined. We had a conversation and I let him know that he really needed to think about getting a sponsor and that I don’t roll with people who are new in recovery. Yeah, I know relationships seem like the be all and end all when we are new in recovery, but since I’m not so new anymore, I have no excuses. I meet a lot of people who think they know everything without listening or even reading the Book. I mean I know that I act like I know everything but in my defense I listen and I read a lot(not so much this week but usually). Also he gave me a creepy vibe when he said that he sees me all the time and he was trying to pin down my locations(thanks but no thanks). 

     The good thing is that these introductions are firming up my standards(they are getting iron clad). The down side is I haven’t met someone who is interested in me who actually fits the bill. I know I’m super busy so I am not stressing about it. Its just really making me think back about all of the nonsense that I did put up with in the past. You know people always say that you can’t ask for what you aren’t bringing to the table. So on that note, I know I need to take a few seats. I like to think of myself as a work in progress. 

     Be blessed!

Namaste

More of You Lent Day 34

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Jesus, without you we will surely perish.
Tell us again about the love of the Father,
that sent you from so far, so near.
Becoming small, rewinding to the beginning,
We want to be raised again by you
our parent and maker.
This second time the serpents won’t come among us. 
We won’t be plagued
by the fear of death or the terror of judgment.
Jesus, tell us again about life everlasting,

walking with you in the cool of the evening.

Amen.

     Every day spent walking closer to God is a good day. Even for a small moment, I can put everything that is on my mind to the side. I am able to get a glimpse of what God has in store and it blows my mind. I am so humbled at the small glimpses of goodness in my life. Yesterday I had the opportunity to literally see changes in the weather(and feel them). It went from overcast to dark grey and no sun to hail and pouring rain. Only to dry up and have the sun peek out a bit later. 

     So I decided to dye my hair again(because my roots were totally showing lol). So now its two uniform colors haha. I just realized the first time I got my hair dyed was in eighth grade(trying to be like Mariah Carey lol). I also think what did the trick this time was using two bottles of dye. I think my hair is a lot happier darker(it seems fuller and bouncier). A few people asked me if the brown would come back but I really don’t know. 

     A dude tried to get at me at a meeting. I was flattered but what could I say to someone with a full grill? I mean, if you are not a known rapper/entertainer I’m not sure why you would have one. Plus, didn’t they go out of style after Paul Wall? I don’t know. I wished him the best. So, I can’t say that people don’t notice me, its just that the ones who actually meet my standards are rare. 

     I managed to get some more laundry put away and knock out some class work. I need to spend more time doing yoga. 

Be blessed!

Namaste

     

The Journey Lent Day 33

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Healing power of Jesus Christ,
fall afresh on me,
Healing power of Jesus Christ,
fall afresh on me.
Touch me, stir me, unfold me, love me.
Healing power of Jesus Christ,
fall afresh on me.
(Howard Booth)

     We are all on this journey called life together. I think it is just easier going through the roller coasters with God. There will be many people joining us at different parts of the journey. Some stay longer than others. As long as we continue to grow on the journey, we should be on the right path. 

     At three fifty one this morning a guy drunk dialed me. It was cool since I am sober. He asked me what I was up to and I said sleeping. He then told me all of the different drinks and shots that he had(not sure if he was just saying that to be cool). He asked me what I was up to(again) and if I wanted to go to the movies later. I mentioned that I had church and that I would be busy. I said maybe some other time. I have had quite a few people make plans with me and then see those plans fall through so I try not to make plans with people(especially at weird times of night). He said that he was almost home and I said goodnight. 

     That small conversation made me think about all of the times I drunk dialed and drunk texted people. I am so glad that those days are over. It also made me wonder why he called me since we haven’t talked in months. Oh well, nothing to worry about. 

     I talked to a close friend about dating/single life and she rationalized why it was okay to date a married man. I told her that God wants more for her and loves her enough for her to be with a single guy. Then I realized dating and mating is so hard for singles. Sometimes it does feel like your only options are taken guys. I talked with other friends about the conversation and they said to pray about it. It was also mentioned that we all sin. Which is totally true. While my sin preference may not be a married man(no matter how fine he might be), my sin is ice cream/cupcakes/sugar. That’s only one of my downfalls. 

     It is only with God’s grace and mercy that I can even begin to really work on my issues. So I am going to spend more time focusing on God’s promises and praying for my friends and family. We all have struggles, but the only person to give us true relief is God. It is in our hardest times that we have to lean closest on God. I am also working on turning around my worry. I make worry into an olympic sport and have no problem taking on other people’s worry just to add to my mountain. 

     I went for a nice run and made a dent in the laundry situation. I am reading a really good book called Sex and the single christian girl. Right now I am in the chapters focusing on spiritual warfare. I am learning a lot and hopefully I can continue to put it into practice. 

Namaste

Father Lent Day 32

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Almighty God, we pray you graciously behold these truths to your family, for whom our Lord Jesus Christ was willing to be betrayed, and given into the hands of sinners, and to suffer death upon the cross; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. We submit and offer ourselves to you and your kingdom will.  Amen.(Adapted from the Book of Common Prayer)

     In essence this prayer is a version of the Third step prayer “Thy will be done…” My days are exponentially greater when I offer them to God first. Taking a moment to even think about the magnitude of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is humbling. I guess most days I think of Christ always knowing the plan that He had and just being focused toward it. 

     Today has been a pretty good day so far. I learned a lot at internship. I had lunch with a new friend. I found out that I make eating a cupcake into an art. So, I think I will work on cutting down on my cupcake time. I went for a nice run. I learned a new way to do pushups(that makes total sense). I did some squats. I cleaned my makeup brushes(which is a big deal for people who wear makeup). I took all of my vitamins(aka I wasn’t being totally lazy). Now I am determined to put away my laundry(yes, the same laundry I blogged about last week). 

     I have a few books that I need to actually sit down and read. The new Runner’s World came in the mail and that was just the spark I needed to go run(it wasn’t super warm out today). Every little bit helps. Other than that, everything is going pretty well in my little part of the universe. 

     I saw a challenge that involves posting happy pics of yourself(up my ally right). So since it is a 100 day challenge, I will try and post 100 happy blogs too. I thought it sounded like a good idea, who doesn’t need more happiness in their lives? I know I do. I texted a guy hello yesterday and he said that he wasn’t feeling well. I wonder if that is the girl equivalent of “I’m washing my hair”. Its not a big deal, but all I said was hello. I didn’t ask him to prom lol. 

     Have a great day!

Namaste

It Is Finished Lent Day 31

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Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for the finished work of your cross. Thank you for your once-for-all sacrifice, which has saved me, purified me and reconciled me to you. Thank your for raising me to newness of life. Rid me, Lord, of my prideful tendency to think that there is anything more I could do to merit your favor or grace. May my heart today echo the words of the old hymn: “Nothing in my hand I bring; simply to thy cross I cling.” Amen.

     Jesus dying on the cross was the ultimate sacrifice for us all. I am so thankful for His tremendous gift of love. In this moment Jesus no longer had to suffer when he said “It is finished”. Such a powerful sentence. It has huge implications not just for when I first believed but for my future. 

     I have had a rough week this week. I have been really drained and I haven’t been able to sleep very much. Today someone mentioned to me that I looked the way they felt(tired). I’m doing my best to keep my stress in check. Hopefully I can catch up on my sleep or next week goes a bit better. 

     I had a conversation with an older friend about Black men and our thoughts on what is keeping so many of them back. She mentioned that women could not raise boys to be men like men can. I mentioned that is why it is so hard to build a family(let alone date) because so many guys today just want to be taken care of rather than finding a wife to take care of and raise a family with. I’m sure I will have more to say about that when I have the time. 

     I have to be up bright and early tomorrow(hopefully not hitting the snooze button). 

     Namaste

Thirst Lent Day 30

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Lord God, Christ’s thirst calls us to lay aside our pretensions of having anything to offer you. Help us embrace instead the humility and faith by which we are exalted to being human like our Savior, Jesus Christ.

In the midnight hour I thirst after God and all He has to offer to me. I throw off my pride, ego, and attitude. I am just me completely broken and in need of the one who makes me whole. When I yearn after God, I am being filled with new life and energy. I don’t have to think about things that no longer serve a purpose to me.

In moments of thirsting after righteousness, I am open to all that God is trying to teach me. I am open to acceptance and comfort. I am open to new opportunity. It is in these moments, where I don’t have to plead my case because He already knows. I can stop and listen in order to hear just what I need to hear in order to grow.

No matter how I feel or what I may be going through(real or imagined) I am thanfully never forsaken by God. Even in the times when I felt so far away, I was actually closer than my mind could comprehend. That’s the beauty of a relationship with Christ. I am unlocking all of the goodness and blessings that God promises.

There are so many things that I don’t do right but thankfully God is always ready to give me a do over. When I get down on myself, God provides glimpses of love and care that tell me things are going to be okay. Someone asked me today if I have any regrets and I said no. All I can do is learn from each lesson and see each moment as a lesson. I also have to take a lot of deep breathes.

I had a good conversation today about social media and how I interact with others in life and online. There are a lot of things that I want to do differently, so I am attempting step by step to put them into motion. Since I do recognize that there are things about myself that I can change, it makes sense to actually change them.

Namaste