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“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8
     I had a conversation with a friend last night about my blog and how I was trying to think of things to write about. She mentioned grace. I thought it was a good idea but I was too tired to write about it.
     So here I am. When I think of grace, I usually think of God’s grace for us. I see God’s grace as all consuming and covering a multitude of my shortcomings. I don’t have to ask God for grace,  He freely gives it. Even though I do my best to ask for it.
     My grace for others is kind of like a big vat. I do my best to offer it to others when needed and other times I withhold it just because a person didn’t ask for it. I’m human. I can recognize that.
     My grace for myself ebbs and flows like waves. On good days it rushes in like high tide and on not so good days it is hidden like water in the desert.  The more grace that I am able to show to myself and others, the more open I am to joy. Not just joy but all of the other things in life that money can’t buy. Like peace and serenity. If these are the things that I want to have more of, I have to be open to them. I have to stay open to them.

100 in 180


This post is inspired by Jo, My Gosh! Here are 100 things that I hope to accomplish in the next 180 days.

1. Get/start a summer job

2. Finish internship

3. Start and finish summer courses

4. Start Ph.d program

5. Take NCE/Pass NCE

6. Work on internship hours

7. Run

8. More pushups

9. More squats

10. More situps

11. Move

12. Get a counseling job

13.Start apt. fund/get a place

14. Start a car fund

15. Write letters to friends

16. Send care packages to friends

17. Spend time with friends

18. Register for RocknRoll half marathon

19. Run RocknRoll half marathon

20. More yoga

21. More pilates

22. Swim

23. Save

24. Blog more

25. Work on book

26. Play flute for fun

27. Help others

28. Give to charity

29. Go to the dentist

30. Drink more water

31. Tithe regularly

32. Be kinder to others

33. Laugh harder

34. Enjoy the small moments

35. Pray harder

36. Breathe longer

37. Meditate longer

38. Complete a Bible plan

39. Knit

40. Recycle

41. Read more books

42. Check out movies

43. Read my ebook collection

44. Volunteer

45. Try out new recipes

46. Go to a football game

47. Go on a hike

48. Bake new recipes

49. Write more poems

50. Finish vision book

51. Try kickboxing

52. Try Crossfit

53. Make SP something

54. Write/email SP every day

55. Send SP a care package once a month

56. Make SP a welcome home sign

57. Be at the airport when SP gets home

58. Read Game of Thrones

59. Read The Hunger Games

60. Journal

61. Do a devotional every day

62. Get organized

63. Create a meal plan

64. Follow meal plan

65. Encourage others

66. Use planner more effectively

67. Create new playlists

68. Go to the symphony

69. Go to the opera

70. Check out a play

71. Get to goal weight

72. Do a 5k/10k

73. Finish Spirit Junkie

74. Go to the museum

75. Go to a lake

76. Brush up on Spanish

77. Brush up on French

78. Learn a new language

79. Make one smoothie a day

80. Do a juice cleanse

81. Take ballet

82. Play tennis

83. Go golfing

84. Finish book

85. Get book edited

86. Get book published?

87. Take a painting class

88. Learn to quilt

89. Dream big

90. Start vacation fund

91. Start emergency fund

92. Paint nails and toes a new color

93. Get a massage

94. Go on a retreat

95. Pay down bills

96. Take a cooking class

97. Go to a festival

98. Go to a soccer game

99. Go to a hockey game

100. Vote

On Cloud Nine


“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God om Christ Jesus for you” 1 Thess 5:16-18

     Today was a really awesome day. I wonder if it was because I went for a run. Church was great. Not sure why but people kept saying they could really hear us play today. A compliment is a compliment. The sermon was great. I will blog about it tomorrow(because I am so tired). A lot of people told me that I looked nice today(which is always nice to hear). 

     I am in such a good mood because I was able to hear from SP. He was able to email me and call me. It was so funny talking to him in the middle of the grocery store. It was a good thing I had items in my basket because I totally would have just left the store without getting what I needed. It felt great to hear his voice. I did my best to listen. It felt like time had just stood still and nothing else mattered in that moment. I couldn’t stop smiling. So I plan on keeping these memories on my mind so that they last for awhile. 

     So if you see me and I have a big goofy grin on my face or I just don’t seem to be there, this is the reason why. Well, I hope you all have a nice evening. I look forward to what tomorrow has in store. 





A Nice Day


     Today the weather was just perfect. I managed to get in gear and go for a nice long run. The only annoying thing was a few creepers who I did my best to ignore. I think one of the reasons why I enjoy running is because when I decide to go for a walk, my calves hurt. But when I run, I don’t feel anything. 

     Today was the church picnic and I ate too many cakes(who can pass up homemade bread pudding?). I was so wiped out, I could have went to sleep right there at the table. The breeze was so nice. It just called for a nap(which I did not take). 

     I am taking it easy watching The Notebook and hearing things I had not heard the first fifty or so times I managed to watch it. The lines in this movie are classic and emotional. I had forgotten about the part where her Mom gives her the letters. 

     Well, its off to finish this movie and then dreamland. 



Bundle Of Emotions


“Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” John 16:23-24

     Today seemed to fly by. I had a really good day just going about the usual. Then on the way home, my eyes started to water. My eyes didn’t stop watering until I ate some food. The waiter must have noticed runny mascara all over my face and asked me how I was doing. I said fine, that it was just the weather. When I cry for some random reason, I always say to myself “There’s no crying in baseball” like Tom Hanks does in A League of Their Own. 

     I feel like I have to be tough and strong. Am I really missing SP that much already? Its only day 2. Well, apparently I am. I found some really nice paper to send his letters with(not girly). I am still trying to think of the various things I can do for the 180 in 180 project. I know that I have a lot of things to do but it will be interesting to see it all written down. 

     I thought I would have the energy to watch a few movies but I am so tired, I don’t know how far I will make it through The Notebook. I know its sap city but I love it and that’s that. Well, I am off to write a few letters. Hope you all have a great night.



Where Did The Day Go?


Acts 7:55-60

Psalm 31:1-5,15-16

1 Peter 2:2-10

John 14:1-14

     In today’s scripture reading, I read about Stephen’s experience and his stoning. I haven’t read this scripture in a long time. What an amazing vision, to look into Heaven and see Jesus on the throne. It immediately made me wonder if the reason why we medicate people with certain diagnoses has something to do with the reaction that the people had to what Stephen revealed. The Scripture also spoke about how Jesus will never leave us and thus we have nothing to fear. Knowing it and putting it into action is what helps build our faith. 

     SP deployed this morning. I am really happy and excited for him. I’ve been thinking of all of the things I will need to do between now and then. I applied for some jobs. I updated my resume and cover letter. I’m thinking of different things to help with the process. Also ideas of things for us to talk about. I’ve been praying. 

     I caught up with a great friend and got to see her new church(it looks so cool). I am so excited for the ways that God is blessing my friends. I know that I am blessed as well, I just think some of my blessings are coming in small doses. Even though I know that I have nothing to fear, I still feel fear knocking at the door. 

     I have so many things that I want to blog about but not enough hours in the day. I ended the semester with all A’s and it made me wonder if our professors were just giving out A’s like Halloween candy. I mean I know that I worked hard but Internship(the course) was kind of tough. 

     I decided to detangle my hair and watch some movies. The hours just flew by and I still have to watch the movies. That’s what the Internet does, it just takes the day away. I hope this makes some sense. If not, hopefully my next blog post will. I haven’t been feeling too good so I haven’t worked out that much. Hopefully that turns around this weekend. I am going to write SP an email and a letter(he is really looking forward to snail mail). 

     Thank you for all of your encouragement and support. Prayer and more prayer is always needed. 




Reflections On Mother’s Day


     Since my Mother is gone from this Earth, I spend Mother’s Day celebrating all of the mothers that I know. If I had a dollar for every time someone said Happy Mother’s Day to me, I would have a nice sum of money in the bank. When I think about my mother, I think about all kinds of memories(good, bad, happy, sad). Its just a bundle of emotions. 

     The thing about losing a mother is that it hurts no matter how bad the relationship was with your mother. The worst times spring up and cause pain, guilt, and shame. So I am just taking it easy, letting the emotions and feelings roll like the tide. I’m not drowning in them at the moment, more like bobbing on top of the water waiting for the next wave. 

     For the most part I feel that my Mom is looking down on us and is enjoying a great life with great people and love in Heaven. I went to brunch with myself to honor my Mom. It was very nice. I managed to eat a little gelato later in the day. I even shared my treats. My Mom was a snack queen, so I think it may be in my genes. 

     I was just thinking that my ex is going to have to have a new nickname on here. How about Sgt. Pepper! That sounds hilarious. Well, Sgt. Pepper made it to town today and surprise, managed to text me and said that he wants to meet up. So I hope that does happen. I know, I have been told to take it slow, make sure he is a friend, and let him take the lead. So far so good. 

     I hope that you are all having a great day and wish you all the happiness and blessings that you can stand 🙂