Last night I had a date(why yes it was with someone I met online). My date had asked if I wanted to meet for drinks or dinner and I suggested we meet up for drinks and then take it from there(less pressure). I was excited, we were both looking forward to meeting.
So when I finally meet up(after my Uber driver did not know where to go and I had to walk to the place), I find my date at a table. The restaurant is really nice. I sit down and check out the menu. We exchange pleasantries and then my date spends the rest of our time together talking. Not talking about just anything but talking about social policy.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do love a good social policy discussion but only when it involves how to improve or change existing social policy. My date had some rather interesting(but not surprising) views about social policy. But he didn’t really frame the conversation in a way that would have provided for back and forth banter it was more like insight into just how little people actually think about social policy(even though they are often the ones to implement it).
For instance, my date said that one reason for the ills of the Black community was due to their love of fried chicken(narrator: indeed it is not). So I flipped it back on him and asked him how he would like it if we told his community that we would take away their cultural food ways (narrator: indeed he did not). So let’s just say I drank a lot of water and listened. Until I could not listen any more.
Needless to say, online dating is hard. Dating is hard. But it is what one has to do in order to make an effort to find love.
The date also gave me insight into why a lot of social policy indeed doesn’t work, because those who have the ability to change and improve existing policy seek to change the cultures of the communities that are in need to help instead of actually working to eliminate the real issues that negatively impact these communities aka systemic and institutional racism.
My date also gave me insight into how men set up their online dating profiles. It turns out the reason why many of them choose not to put effort into their profiles is due to the belief that people only care about their pics and that no one indeed reads profiles.
I asked my date if he was indeed looking to date and he mentioned that he was but he also brought up how he approaches it as a kind of networking of sorts. I don;t know what to think about that because on the one hand, it is important to meet different people to find out who you would be a good match with but on the other hand, I don’t want to approach a date with an agenda either. I don’t know, maybe I am a tad basic in that regard.
What is funny about that is most of my interactions with men on online dating sites involves them asking me if I have actually read their profiles(because in weird passive aggressive language written in odd font, they actually tell me what their kinks are and shame on me for not reading the multiple paragraph intros that they curate). This is then followed by me wishing them well. Listen, I have no problem with kinks(they are your business) but if I am not on an explicit kink site, I believe that should be a discussion had in person and/or behind closed doors). Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of stimulating conversation but stimulating just might be in the eye(or ear) of the beholder.
So here I am attempting to see how long I will be able to swim in the online dating waters this go round. I want to be able to say that I gave it a shot but each attempt seems to end up with the round about same result.
We shall see what is to become of these online dating adventures.