Category Archives: Writing

When Life Gets Lifey

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Hey blog readers,

I know you are probably wondering where I have been and how it is super weird that I haven’t been blogging even though I was supposed to blog through November. I know, I was wondering too. I always have the best intentions to take time to blog and then time passes and I go to sleep.

Well, a lot has been going on in my world. I had started a new job back in the spring and while I was going through the ups and downs of learning a new job, I was recently terminated. It threw me for a loop because not only is it right before the holidays, but now I have to figure out what my next move is because I will not have a place to stay.

Have  I experienced homelessness before, yes, but the difference was that I was in a place where all of my social capital exists(so things weren’t so bad). Also, it just plain doesn’t feel great. So many people are wondering what my next move will be but I actually don’t have a clue.

As a result, it makes it hard for me to even think about anything else(like all of the coding I have been working on or my paper edits). As I expressed my termination on social media(literally a one line statement), I received a lot of thoughts from friends and associates. A lot of people said that I shouldn’t talk about that kind of thing on social media where employers will find out. I don’t know how I feel about that but I did delete said post. The issue for me is now, when people see my social media, it won’t be completely me because it will only express happy or positive content and moving forward that will probably be sporadic if best(because I can’t post to social media if I don’t have a phone or internet).

I guess I will just have to buckle up and see where this ride called life takes me.

Peace

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Close Encounters

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Have you ever had someone come into your life for just a moment but stay in your heart forever?

Once upon a time, I was an awkward girl in Bible college. Bible college was a bubble in every sense of the word but it was just enough for someone just out of high school. It was a lilly pad of sorts.

Well, enter an angel with the bluest eyes and the coolest hair, without much of a care in the world. That angel’s name was Josh and let me tell you. *Whoo*. Takes a moment to collect myself. Josh was definitely an angel because he saw through all of me, deep down to my inmost being, and he wasn’t scared. We came into each other’s lives at a time where everything just made a little more sense. We had great conversations. We shared our hearts. We believed the future was bright.

Although we weren’t in each other’s lives for very long, we both left a mark on the other’s heart and I will always thank God for giving me time with Josh. Even though Josh has passed, his memory will live on forever and I’m grateful that I can hold his joy in my heart.

Beautiful Forever

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What if you could have something that was beautiful forever? A piece of art that would last the test of time?

That is what I think about when I think about tattoos. I don’t actually have any because I am afraid of needles but I do think they are beautiful when done well.The worst thing is when people get tattoos that they regret. Especially when they don’t have the means to get them removed.

I have a lot of friends and family with tattoos. I’ve also dated a lot of guys with tattoos. So here’s to the brave ones who get them.

 

Thick Thoughts On Life

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I had the pleasure of reading an upcoming memoir/collection of essays by Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom, whose previous work Lower Ed is a great treatise on the state of for profit colleges and how students navigate the various entries into education. The opportunity to read Thick was provided by NetGalley. If you haven’t had a chance to follow Dr. McMillan Cottom on Twitter, I would advise you to do so otherwise, you can find her work in a wide variety of public spaces.

In Thick, Dr. McMillan Cottom guides the reader through the thick lived experience that will resonate with many readers. Her voice is indeed thick like a nice glass of sweet tea that your aunt or grandmother would make with just enough sugar to make you feel like you could definitely have a second glass.

I was hooked by Thick after reading a few pages because the experiences described resonated with me deeply. The further I read, the more I was pushed to affirm myself and my own lived experiences. Each chapter was indeed thick in truth and wisdom.

I cannot wait to purchase a copy of Thick. As I read, I realized that each sentence would stay with me, in fact many sections are written on my heart but I need to have them highlighted just to bring them to memory.

One of the most compelling parts of Thick is how it gives the reader(particularly Black women) not only permission to be who you are unapologetically but it pushes you to not stop, it affirms you to say “Yes, you have been right all along and you have to keep going”.

Thick is not a quick read, rather it is a jolt of electricity to the heart that seeks to let you know that your voice matters no matter what you may face each day. While it touches on the truth that so many Black women have endured since the beginning of time, it does offer a new way of walking into our excellence.

In addition, Thick offers gems for various moods or seasons that you may find yourself in. It caused my deepest emotions to burst forth in a life affirming way. There were sections that made me howl with laughter and there were sections that made me weep in a way that only someone who feels seen can ever reach.

Although Dr. McMillan Cottom is a thinker, I would also put her in a category of preacher due to the life affirming words that she offers forth into the world and the refrain that serves as the hook to this swan song which puts freedom in our hands. The larger takeaway becomes what are you going to do after you fix your feet?

*I did not receive any compensation to offer this book review*

2018 The Saga of Online Dating

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As you may or may not know, I got my feet wet in the online dating pool again. Although I have been online dating off and on over the years, I maintained my optimism due to so many friends who managed to find success across sites. I joined Match.com for the first time and rejoined Bumble. I decided to do this for the summer and see what came of it. It also served as a distraction from my ex who made an unusual reappearance in my life before I moved and a few weeks after. I think we both know that we would not be anything(its been too long and we still don’t see things on the same page).

My thoughts on both sites:

Match.com: Match has a lot of great qualities. Unfortunately, the matches are hit or miss. The site gives me Plenty of Fish vibes with a slightly newer interface. As of now, over 750 guys have viewed my profile but I don’t think even twenty guys have sent me a message. I did not renew my subscription(which will end in August).

Bumble: Bumble is a great site. Unfortunately, many of the matches seem fake. I appreciate the fact that the woman can initiate the conversation. Sadly, many men treat it as if it is Tinder and my initial conversations do not give off Tinder vibes.

A friend did look at my profile and suggested that I get professional pictures done but I do not think it is worth it(because I am not that kind of person). A lot of guys on Bumble do use professional head shots and I swipe left because they just look so fake.  So far I only had to report one person for being completely inappropriate and the site took care of it.

I haven’t went on any dates yet but I did have a few offers(I was supposed to have a date over the weekend, but the guy messed that up, another guy hasn’t set a date yet, and another guy made plans for this week), so we shall see.

Overall, guys like my profile and conversation but not enough to parlay into a date. So we shall see what the rest of the summer holds,

Thoughts About Online Dating

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So I had sworn off online dating in 2018. But once I moved, I started to reconsider. I’m praying about it. I have moments where I’m optimistic but when I think about all of the drama I’ve gone through, the optimism dissipates.

If I do jump in, I plan on being smart about it and being much more discerning. Friends were telling me to be more optimistic but I think it’s important to be realistic. When I say be realistic I mean being realistic about myself. I know I can be a piece of work and I know that I am not everyone’s cup of tea.

I also feel like I’m at an age where I’m not as desperate as I used to be. For the most part I have made peace with what will be.

2018 Ready To Run

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So this year, in an epic year of all epic years, I decided to run a 50 miler. I know, I know. But here’s the thing, all of my friends have run one. Also, the training plan is uber similar to a 50k plan. Also it gives me an excuse to run all of the distances that I haven’t been able to in a while either due to life or recovery(from leg stuff).

I haven’t been training on purpose in a bit(especially after the accident) but a week or two ago, I was really going through some stuff and I went for a nice 8 mile run and felt much better, that was when I realized that I needed to get myself in gear and I wrote out my training plan. I also have a strength plan(mostly body weight stuff at the moment).

The funny thing about this new training plan is that Monday is a rest day. Other than that, most of it is just the usually mix of distance and speed. I don’t really do a lot of speed stuff but maybe that will change in the upcoming months.

Happy Running