Category Archives: Stats

One Foot In Front Of The Other Moves You Forward

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Hey there lover of blogs and all things word related,

I have had a roller coaster of a week, now much of that has been in my head but whoo, it has been a ride. Earlier in the week I turned in my draft of my Stats paper. I was so excited and relieved. It is now being peer reviewed and I am peer reviewing some papers as well. I am a fairly critical person, so it is easy for me to give someone feedback on their work. I am also embracing the feedback that I am going to receive because I want to improve my writing.

My workouts have been sporadic this week because I was working on my methods assignment and I stayed up until the witching hour most days. I plan on going for a run this afternoon. I really need it. I decided after a run earlier in the week, that my days are so much better when I go for a run first. It was like one of those lightbulb moments that I need to put into practice and stop making excuses about. So, I don’t think I am going to make my mileage goal for the month so it will be interesting to see where I end up at the end of 2015 lol.

I got a bunch of interesting and amazing good news and I am excited about it but at the same time I am trying to stay calm. God works out things in so many unexpected ways until they come to fruition and I am like “Ah, now I see”. I had a great conversation with an inspirational friend yesterday who basically just told me to keep going.

Today is also a good day because I am not moping about how single I am. I totally understand how that is so old news lol. That means I am in a good space and I can focus on other things like getting my other blender from storage. The other day I went to make an awesome smoothie and my blender broke. It was a sad day for breakfast lovers everywhere.

Well, not much else is going on so I must get back to work. I cannot believe that in a few short weeks I will no longer be a first year doc student. Time flies when you are trying to meet deadlines. Also maybe I can catch a few shows or movies that I told myself I was going to get to. I am super excited about my summer class but I will probably blog about that another day.

Shalom

Namaste

What A Friday

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Hey blog readers,

If you are reading this, then congratulate yourself for making it to Friday. Whoo! I am so excited that I made it to another day. I love the weekends and I love Fridays(and Wednesdays but who’s counting). So last night I started working on my code and it ran and I went to sleep a happy camper. My paper is done(minus a few edits) and I couldn’t be happier(since I was happy to tell my professor that it was done). We are turning in final drafts on Monday for a triple peer review and then the final, final paper will be due after that. The great thing about this paper is that it also serves as my lit review for another class that is due at the end of the month. I am also current with my methods assignments( I have one of two due next week, so my plan is to edit and then work on it as a break). So I am looking forward to fun times this weekend.

Also this weekend I hope to workout too(since I won’t feel as rushed or stressed as I did earlier in the week). Running and exercise in general are such a release for me. I don’t know why I neglect them at times(usually when I am really stressed out). I mean even yoga and breathing help in a pinch.

This afternoon I am attending a demography workshop by one of the top scholars in the field(Dr. Green). I cannot wait to meet him. He does some awesome work at the University of Mississippi. Yesterday, he gave a talk but I had to work so I missed it. That’s why I am so excited that I have the opportunity to attend the workshop.

Yesterday I went to a networking mixer which was super awkward(not my fault at all). It just wasn’t prepped well and I don’t think they had the turnout that they were expecting. But one good thing is someone wants to read my papers. So I thought that was cool. Today I am looking on the bright side at everything. It makes each moment better. Plus, it feels good knowing that I am on the right track. I talked to a good friend yesterday about some of my experiences and she shared some similar experiences that she faced in grad school. Sometimes it just helps to know that you aren’t alone. She also mentioned some of the things that Eleanor Roosevelt went through in her life and how she overcame them. I love Eleanor Roosevelt but I didn’t realize that she had faced a lot of adversity.

Have a great day!

Shalom

Namaste

When Things Start To Look Up

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Hey blog peeps,

This week has been a busy one. My empirical analysis final draft is due on Monday(I have thirteen pages that I just have to tweak to grow to fifteen) and I have a new methods assignment due on Tuesday. I finally feel like things are happening and I am on the upside of the semester.

I had been really drained in social media because a lot of people want to dip their pinky toes into the discussion of race and I just got to this point where I can’t give anymore educations on race. I am not a teacher(at this moment in time). I treat people the way that I want to be treated and I hurt with those who hurt. That’s pretty much all that I can do.

This is one of the reasons why self-care is so important. If we are not recharging our energies in some way, we can’t help ourselves or others. One nice thing that has happened this week is that a lot of people have given me food. Not that I asked for it, they just offered and I accepted it.

I only have four weeks of this semester left and then my first year of doctoral work will be complete. I cannot believe it. I remember when being a doctoral student was just this pie in the sky idea that I had, now it is happening. So to everyone who is starting this journey or thinking about starting this journey, keep going and no matter what enjoy the journey.

I have a lot of older friends(who are near retirement age) and they always tell me to enjoy the journey. It is only when I take a moment to stop and smell the flowers do I actually put those words in action. So since I am trying to be kinder to myself, I am extending that kindness to others). Last night a good friend took me out to meet some band friends and then we did a little pub crawl(we drank ginger ale and fancy root beer). It was a blast! I haven’t had that much fun in a long time and I got to hear some great new music. A lot of people complimented me on my perfume(it was one I don’t really wear often but since I have a ton of perfume, I am trying to get into this habit of rotating them) anyway, the point is I said thank you and accepted the compliment.

This week has been employee appreciation at work and our bosses got us lunch for a few days(which is great for an always hungry veggie lover like myself). It is really nice to have people notice the work that you do. I haven’t been feeling that good so I have just been walking and I started back up my home weight circuit routine.

Well, the same way I just almost wrote five hundred words for this post, I have to go add five hundred to my paper 🙂

Shalom

Namaste

When Things Blow Up In Your Face

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Hey blog readers,

Sorry I haven’t been posting, I have had a wacky week. Well, I found out that I didn’t get the assistant-ship and my food stamps weren’t renewed because I don’t work twenty hours or more a week. So, I emailed everyone I could think of(I’m looking at you Sen. Cruz with your no reply email)  and instead of just thinking about myself I petitioned for the school to have a food bank site or food pantry for students on both campuses(just in case the school couldn’t think about increasing the hours of pay of students).

I have a lot of stuff do in a few weeks so I have been a tad stressed about it. Tonight I am giving a presentation on nutrition and health as it relates to migration. I just think it is so ironic that I am researching food insecurity while facing food insecurity.

Last night a friend posted a fitness challenge for April and this morning another friend called me for fitness encouragement so I took those as signs to get up and get moving. I ran 6 miles and did 60 squats and 20 pushups. I don’t know if I will ever get better at pushups or even like them lol. I have such weak upper body strength.

I am grateful that I am not in a position where I don’t have anything to eat in the fridge. I am grateful that I do have food to cook and eat. I am grateful for everything that I have. I just feel that more should be done when it can be. So I am trying to balance that out with the sadness that I didn’t get picked for the research position. I know I’m not the first person in the world to not get picked for a research position but I felt like I could have done a good job.

Such is life right, I mean there are so many things that we know but until it applies to us then we think it is unfair. Life for the most part isn’t fair for a lot of people so we have choices. We can keep pushing forward in spite of it all or we can let the unfairness stop us and keep us down.

I had some students in my program ask me if I was going to quit and I wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of quitting. This program is about making my dreams come true one class at a time. Maybe I am not a genius or a favorite but I am learning a lot and one broken code at a time and one rewritten paragraph at a time I will make it. I really don’t have any other choice because as wild as my day to day life is/seems, I have been through much, much worse.

Okay off to finish this powerpoint and figure out how to become a better writer 🙂

Shalom

Namaste

When Days Blend Into Each Other

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Hello blog viewers, readers, and people who just stumbled upon my little slice of the internet. Sorry that I haven’t posted but I have been swamped with homework and lack of sleep. Not the best combination in the world. I am turning in atleast one project today(thank goodness).

I just wanted to say thank you to all who have taken the time to check out my blog or just landed on it by accident. I am so humbled by the fact that people actually check out all of my ramblings. It is so cool to see that people from all over the world have checked it out at least once. I remember when I had just started and I had maybe three views. Now look! I am so grateful for all of you who have taken the time to offer comments, advice, and support through this journey.

The lack of sleep really got to me because I had deadlines and I was trying to do a million things at once instead of sleep which is not a good thing. So I have started to actually reach a stopping point and take some melatonin. That makes a huge difference, plus it also helps that I am just knocked out and I can’t do anything else lol. I have managed to exercise and run along the way which helps me get through the day. I get such a boost of energy from working out.

I was having a pity party last night when I took a break from projections and realized how lonely I am. My best friend doesn’t like it when I don’t speak about positive things(in fact most people in my life don’t) but with as much stuff that I actually stuff down(I am a stuffer of all problems and issues until tiny specks bubble to the surface), I have to let a little out sometimes.

I mean I get it, who really wants to hear about someone’s problems. Right,  I know and I do understand but what would life be like if we only presented our best side? Or is that what life is supposed to be like? Maybe that’s what I get wrong. So everyone knows that I am super single(that means single with no prospects in sight) and that can have some rough moments when you are in your thirties(yes even though my face may not tell you that, I am in fact in my thirties). Also, my nerd factor has gotten exponentially larger and that too doesn’t help because it just doesn’t lol.

So while you keep me in your prayers, keep all of the singles of the world in your prayers. We need it. It’s hard when you don’t have one person to pour life into and you overcompensate in all of your friendships in order to make a semblance of a comfort/happiness quotient. It’s like this error that I kept getting in my Principal Component Analysis about not being able divide by zero. When your singleness is a constant, you will eventually get tired of trying to divide by zero.

So what happens, you try and recalibrate and focus on everything else that you actually have in front of you and keep putting one foot in front of the other because at the end of the day, that is all that you can do. Also, listening to great music helps a lot. Thankfully I do have some movies to look forward to(the plan is to watch them this weekend).

For those of you in love or just testing the waters of love, embrace that person flaws and all, bask in the glow of the wonder that is joy in relationship and live life fully. Don’t take people for granted who are curious about your being. See them in the best light that they also see you in. Hold on tight because you never know when that light will be gone. It is best to enjoy the light versus a picture of the light.

I may be lonely but I know what happiness and real relationship are supposed to look like because I have seen it(sure through other people but still, it is real and true). Until I do get the opportunity to offer love and light back, I have to embrace my studies and find joy in every population pyramid(I still don’t feel like I have mastered them) but I don’t stop, I just keep going.

Shalom

Namaste

Tea, Yoga, And Headlamps

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Last night before bed I had a wonderful conversation with my BFF, its always an anointed time when you can just pray back and forth with someone. I made some yummy rice noodles and I did some much needed yoga. I felt great going to bed. I had decided just to take a break from my coding and rest.

This morning I woke up to an email from the race director stating that we will need a headlamp for the race because we will be starting in the dark. Why didn’t I think of that? So, along with getting a ride to the race(I figure I will be able to get a ride home), I have to go get a headlamp. I know I’ve gone off the deep end, but I am excited about it. So far the conditions are listed as dry.

I came into work with a new person and was promptly informed that they would be leaving, so I was on my own. It was fine by me because it gave me more time to just be in the moment. A few people stopped by and were wondering where everyone was. Hey, I am doing what I am supposed to do so no one can say anything to me.

Of course I forgot all of my usbs at home. Of course it just wouldn’t be Thursday without me forgetting something. Well, the good thing is I can still work on my code because I have everything saved on my laptop and I can just finish the writeups later. I can even get started on this week’s homework if time permits.

So, I am in a pretty great mood. I am thankful and grateful for my life. It involves ups and downs but today I am coasting on the upswing. At some point this weekend I am going to watch some movies or I might catch up on some shows today. I don’t know. The sunshine is calling my name so we shall see how quickly I manage to get work done.

Shalom

Namaste

Moving Forward Through Mess

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Good afternoon, sometimes when it rains, it pours. That’s a part of life but it still doesn’t feel good when it happens to you. I had talked to one of my professor’s about an assignment that I knew I didn’t get(like not that close to the ballpark) and I have a meeting to go over it. I was ready for it.

This morning I woke up, and called myself doing a quick blogilates workout(boy did it take the wind out of me). I even made oatmeal and *gasp* ate it. I even managed to pack a lunch. I found some warm clothes to wear. I headed out of the door and I forgot my glasses. Well, I figured that I wouldn’t have to see anything far away(or too far away) and I kept going.

I made it to work and grabbed a hot cocoa(with coconut milk) it was delicious. Then I realized it was a huge chunk of calories. While I was beating myself up about that, I got some feedback on my stats homework(I knew it was horrible). Well, it was pretty bad or fill in whatever word that best fits terrible. So, I accepted the feedback and have to move forward. So the plan is to start my write up while I am actually working on my code to run. So that I don’t wait until the last minute for my code to run and not have a write up. That was what happened. I know my professor was frustrated and I was frustrated with myself.

That’s what happens with perfectionist, type-A people, we strive so hard to get things right and we miss some of the dots along the way. So I have to figure out how to shake off this idea that I’m not good enough and that I can’t do something. Just because my code doesn’t work for a day or a week doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I am doing completely. Just because I go about migration at a weird angle doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to do methods, it just means that I have to find out the correct angle to aim for. These are all fixable things and I do not have to keep flogging myself over them.

That’s the beauty of being a work in progress, we continue to strive for progress, not perfection. So I continue to put one foot in front of the other and even though I may have to shed a few tears over my simple mistakes, so be it. I am grateful that I can get feedback, that I can accept it, and that I can learn from it. Because what is life if we aren’t learning. Now of course that doesn’t mean I have to continue to make the same mistakes.

I hope that you have a great day.

Shalom

Namaste

Great Days

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I don’t know what it is, maybe it is the change in the weather(that is actually changing again) but today has been a great day so far. I am sure it also has to do with positive self talk. Also, not having class tonight also helps. So I can get work done that needs to get done. My idea of a good time is working on assignments and reducing my laundry pile ha!

I think I was off by a week because I didn’t realize that Spring Break is next week. That means the 50k is next weekend. We are supposed to have nice weather next week. I look forward to it. My Methods assignment was pushed back(which is always nice) but I think I can have it done this week. This assignment involves estimation on the county level, we are estimating the county population for two years using three different types of estimation(linear, exponential, and ratio). It is a tad depressing to see how the population has declined over time regarding Wayne County(it looks pretty bad in each type of estimation). Our next assignment(projections) is going to be massive. Since I have all of the Michigan data, I am just going to use what I have.

The funny thing is that even though the weather is bonkers, I went for a run, did some cardio, and dressed up for work. I don’t know if I just wanted to prove to myself that I could put something together or if I was just telling the universe, “Hey’ today is a great day to look great”. Either way lol.

I think I am in a place right now where things are working out just the way that they are supposed to and that I have more support than I thought I did. It’s awesome and scary at the same time. Its like going after something(let’s say a goal) and having it all fall into place where the goal is achieved. I think being open to feedback helps a lot too because when you are open to feedback, people will freely give it to you. It also let’s me know that I am not alone and that everything is going to be alright in the end.

I have been drinking tea before bed pretty much every day since winter. I love tea and since I have a ton of it, I figure I better drink it. The vegan, raw chocolate protein bites that I made over the weekend were a huge hit. My friends and coworkers loved them! So now I know that I will have to make more if I am going to share. I got the recipe from the book “I Quit Sugar”, but I added a little sugar because I put some granola/trail mix in it. Basically, it tasted just like a Chunky bar.

Now if I could just settle on a system to manage my email. I have read about a few systems and then I use one for a bit and then bam 300 emails await me again. Not a terrible problem to have but something I need to be more consistent about. Speaking of consistent, I need to start journaling more. I heard it was a good idea to jot things down before you went to bed. We shall see how that goes. I have a few journals, just need to use them.

Well, I hope you have a great day no matter the weather

Shalom

Namaste

When You Make One Change, Its Like A Domino Effect

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This weekend was pretty interesting. I didn’t intend for it to be that way. I was just happy to have a moment to breathe. At this moment, I don’t remember what I did on Friday. Oh wait, yes I went to the post office to send off very important mail and found out that the servers were down and I had to pay cash. I didn’t know how much an actual stamp cost. So I asked how much a Forever stamp cost, I guess they were one in the same. So I was able to get two stamps. I got some books in the mail(one for pleasure and one for my paper). I made it back to campus and got a bit of work done.

On Saturday I went for a run. Oh yeah and then this guy who stood me up a few months ago(it was also a cold, chilly night), texted me(I had actually blocked his number) and I texted him back. He called me. I asked him what he had in mind(he was asking me why I hadn’t responded to him and I mentioned that I was doing dishes). See I had this great plan of cleaning up and I did do some dishes but I was thinking about a ton of other stuff so I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to). He mentioned that his heat wasn’t working and that I could meet him at the mall. I had flashbacks to being in sixth grade and meeting up with guys from Detroit at the mall(it was a weird time back in the ’90’s). So I went and ran a bath and decided that I would stand him up. So I did. See, when we talked the first statements out of his mouth were why it was so nuts that I didn’t have a car still. Welp, I don’t and since I am okay with that, who cares who isn’t.

As many of you know I have a bad Facebook habit. In fact a few years ago some classmates challenged me to quit Facebook for a few weeks, it was tough. Well, I noticed that a friend of a friend was sending out suicidal posts. Since Facebook had a new policy regarding suicidal posts, I engaged the person and offered some suggestions and support. I also reported all of the posts that I saw. Well, nothing happened. So I called the suicide hotline myself to get some answers for what to do(the person was in another state). Well, they weren’t very helpful and they asked me if I was doing self-care(which I was). They told me to call them back if I needed to talk. Basically they wanted me to call the person. Well, at this point the person wasn’t trying to hear anything that I was saying. So I told them that I would always be available to listen and I gave them my number. I was frustrated because I know what it is like to be at that point.

Over the weekend there were various races that were cancelled due to weather. Well, my Facebook timeline consisted of fifty or so people complaining about this that or the other. So I mentioned to a guy that he could run his 50 miler in his backyard and that the complaining didn’t change anything that was out of his control. So a few people told me that I didn’t have to be in the conversation and that I didn’t understand him and basically told me to leave a group. So after mentioning that he had a lot to be grateful for and that he had other races (this year to look forward to), I wished him the best in his races and I quit Facebook.

OMG, I know right! Like how could I the most extroverted of all introverts leave Facebook. Well, I deactiviated and this waited for the signal to get my data, I was able to delete my account(well per Facebook it will be deleted after 14 days). How do I feel? I feel great. I actually felt great last night. Oh by the way, Facebook said that all of my 1,393 friends would miss me and I beg to different because only five people liked my sayanora post and only two of those five commented lol.

So now hopefully I can see those friends in real life or on Twitter/Instagram or some other thing I happen to still be on. I see this move as a win win for me. Also, I was able to find some great containers at Goodwill for my stuff and I was able to start to get organized. What a wonder.

In other news, I had a chat with my best friend about my blog and she mentioned that sometimes she just wants to shake me after reading my posts. She thinks that I have to think positive about myself. Well, sometimes I want to shake her too because she doesn’t think positively about herself lol. So its something that I have to work on.

So here’s to new perspectives

Shalom

Namaste

Taking The Day One Step At A Time

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Yesterday my run was great and I had enough energy to get in a circuit workout. Well, that was all because I met with my professor about my code and wouldn’t you know it, I made simple typing mistakes with my variables and that is the only reason why they weren’t recognized. So I have to expand my variable recodes and tighten up my code(so it doesn’t include every variable just the ones I am using in the code at that moment lol). I also realized that my professors really do want us to do well. That means a lot to me too. There is nothing like the feeling of having people encourage and support you.

What does this mean? It means R is like the jelly to my peanut butter and I am clicking right along. Such a relief. I also managed to get all of the data I need for my methods assignment. It is so funny to me that I am looking at data from my childhood years. I am just thankful that it is readily available. Also I can totally do my next homework and get my models together for my paper 🙂

I found out that I will be working during Spring Break(for some reason I thought we had it off lol). But its a win win for me. Then that Saturday will be the big 50k. I am still really excited. I was talking to my little niece and nephew who are track phenoms and my niece asked me why I would want to run that many miles. I started to explain to her how I didn’t have the opportunity to run track as a kid but then I stopped and I just said that once you run a marathon, you go into this zone and you just figure why not lol.

When I was a kid, my dad used a track as punishment and I hated it. So I focused on any sport that he would have little involvement in(Swimming and softball, some volleyball until I figured out I was allergic to latex powder and stopped). It wasn’t until I was a grown up did I decide to start running and I just went for it. Now I love running and I guess I am trying to make up for lost time. Like I wonder what life would have been like if I were on a track or cross country team as a kid(which we had). So now I run for my health and to be my best self. I feel like I am closer to my dreams when I run and I also feel closer to God. I also consider running to be free therapy.

I saw some really cool laptop stickers and wondered why I hadn’t thought about getting any before. So I ordered some nerdy laptop stickers. When I was in Korea the kids loved stickers so I should probably check my stash to see if I still have any lol. Sometimes its just the little things that brighten up your day.

Have a wonderful day!

Shalom

Namaste