I meant to write this post months ago but as time went on the only thing I managed to do was think about it over and over. Today, I decided that I would take the time and write it. I know that I may seem like the queen of quitting online dating but I have to explain what took me over the edge.
Earlier in the year I was on a few different sites and decided to swipe left or right on 1000 profiles. Toward the end of that madness, someone got in touch with me and asked me out on a date. We had a few conversations and I agreed.
Our first date was great. I really enjoyed our conversation. My date asked me on a second date a few days later and I agreed. Our second date was quirky and fun and that led to my date asking for a third. Well, I was excited about the third date until he mentioned Netflix and Chill. I don’t do Netflix and Chill. My standard response is that I have my own Netflix. When I am pressed for more information, I explain that I had bad experiences in the past and as a result, prefer to get to know a person before I entertain Netflix and Chill. Most guys don’t actually want to hear that. My date was one of those guys. He actually got mad that I would not agree which made me get mad that he was pressing me. So, I stopped talking to him.
I took a break for a few months and then thought I would give it the old college try. What I found was actually worse than I had remembered. Guys were being really inappropriate in first messages and sending unsolicited pics over sites that weren’t Tinder and I was just over it.
So, I waved my white flag and surrendered to online dating failure. In that time I learned a few lessons. The first lesson I learned was to listen to my first mind because it does not steer me wrong. The second lesson I learned is that while many find love through online dating, that just won’t be my story. It doesn’t make me any less excited for them and it doesn’t make me any less of a hopeless romantic at heart. The third lesson I learned is that even though I have been online dating on and off for over ten years, I should have waved my white flag a long time ago. All of those starts and stops were just me trying to deny the truth of my experience and I wasted a lot of time in the process.
The only downside to not online dating is that I am not meeting more people(which was my goal from the beginning) and unfortunately I am back at square one but I have to believe that is for a reason. As much as I want some things to be different, things aren’t different for reasons that have nothing to do with me.
Cheers to the dating journey.