Understanding

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     I just found out that not only is October Breast Cancer Awareness month but it is also Domestic Violence Awareness month. These are both two horrific events that happen way too often. I have not had breast cancer but I have friends and family who have fought the good fight.
I grew up with domestic violence as an everyday event in my family home. I always knew that domestic violence was wrong. I have also experienced domestic violence.
     At first it started out low key with needing to always know where I was or being with me. Then it turned to mini arguments that led to nowhere and couldn’t be resolved because I was given the silent treatment.
Then in a moment, my husband attacked me. He drug me through our home. He grabbed me by my hair and bashed my head into the floor. Then when that wasn’t enough, he tried to choke the life out of me. Do you want to know why? He owed a drug dealer $40 and I wouldn’t give it to him. I saw my life flash before my eyes that day(it will be three years next month). See, way back when we started dating, my husband had promised me that he would never hurt me, no matter what. So, when he finally let me go, I called the cops and a friend. He was arrested. The officers asked me if I wanted to press charges and I said yes. I also filed a restraining order. I let his family and mine know what happened and I tried to get my life together.
      His family could not understand why I didn’t stay and support him. I told them that he knew the deal. He broke his promise and I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t stay because I didn’t know when or if it would happen again.
     Even though I was safe, I was scared because I was in real pain and he kept violating the restraining order. Each time he violated the order, I had him arrested. So it took time for me to even start to feel better. While he was still in jail, I was able to get our marriage annulled.
     I still have moments when I get a glimpse of a good memory that we had. But it is like a mist and it fades. Seeing what my Mom went through for over twenty-five years with my dad, I can’t fault a person for staying in an abusive relationship. I would just say that when you are ready to leave, a way will be made for you to do so.
     No one deserves to live in fear or to feel like they aren’t worth more than unspeakable treatment from someone they care about. Although we still have a long way to go for survivors of domestic violence, there are tons of resources available to help.
Shalom
Namaste

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2 responses »

  1. Thank you for your post. Intimate partner violence is about power and control. No person should ever live like that. While I certainly support Breast Cancer Awareness I genuinely wish they had different months because DV Awareness gets over looked. They are both primarily women’s issues and it would be great to see them have different months. Thanks for your post. Lifting you up with Love and Light. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

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