Hello blog viewers, readers, and people who just stumbled upon my little slice of the internet. Sorry that I haven’t posted but I have been swamped with homework and lack of sleep. Not the best combination in the world. I am turning in atleast one project today(thank goodness).
I just wanted to say thank you to all who have taken the time to check out my blog or just landed on it by accident. I am so humbled by the fact that people actually check out all of my ramblings. It is so cool to see that people from all over the world have checked it out at least once. I remember when I had just started and I had maybe three views. Now look! I am so grateful for all of you who have taken the time to offer comments, advice, and support through this journey.
The lack of sleep really got to me because I had deadlines and I was trying to do a million things at once instead of sleep which is not a good thing. So I have started to actually reach a stopping point and take some melatonin. That makes a huge difference, plus it also helps that I am just knocked out and I can’t do anything else lol. I have managed to exercise and run along the way which helps me get through the day. I get such a boost of energy from working out.
I was having a pity party last night when I took a break from projections and realized how lonely I am. My best friend doesn’t like it when I don’t speak about positive things(in fact most people in my life don’t) but with as much stuff that I actually stuff down(I am a stuffer of all problems and issues until tiny specks bubble to the surface), I have to let a little out sometimes.
I mean I get it, who really wants to hear about someone’s problems. Right, I know and I do understand but what would life be like if we only presented our best side? Or is that what life is supposed to be like? Maybe that’s what I get wrong. So everyone knows that I am super single(that means single with no prospects in sight) and that can have some rough moments when you are in your thirties(yes even though my face may not tell you that, I am in fact in my thirties). Also, my nerd factor has gotten exponentially larger and that too doesn’t help because it just doesn’t lol.
So while you keep me in your prayers, keep all of the singles of the world in your prayers. We need it. It’s hard when you don’t have one person to pour life into and you overcompensate in all of your friendships in order to make a semblance of a comfort/happiness quotient. It’s like this error that I kept getting in my Principal Component Analysis about not being able divide by zero. When your singleness is a constant, you will eventually get tired of trying to divide by zero.
So what happens, you try and recalibrate and focus on everything else that you actually have in front of you and keep putting one foot in front of the other because at the end of the day, that is all that you can do. Also, listening to great music helps a lot. Thankfully I do have some movies to look forward to(the plan is to watch them this weekend).
For those of you in love or just testing the waters of love, embrace that person flaws and all, bask in the glow of the wonder that is joy in relationship and live life fully. Don’t take people for granted who are curious about your being. See them in the best light that they also see you in. Hold on tight because you never know when that light will be gone. It is best to enjoy the light versus a picture of the light.
I may be lonely but I know what happiness and real relationship are supposed to look like because I have seen it(sure through other people but still, it is real and true). Until I do get the opportunity to offer love and light back, I have to embrace my studies and find joy in every population pyramid(I still don’t feel like I have mastered them) but I don’t stop, I just keep going.