Moving Forward Through Mess

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Good afternoon, sometimes when it rains, it pours. That’s a part of life but it still doesn’t feel good when it happens to you. I had talked to one of my professor’s about an assignment that I knew I didn’t get(like not that close to the ballpark) and I have a meeting to go over it. I was ready for it.

This morning I woke up, and called myself doing a quick blogilates workout(boy did it take the wind out of me). I even made oatmeal and *gasp* ate it. I even managed to pack a lunch. I found some warm clothes to wear. I headed out of the door and I forgot my glasses. Well, I figured that I wouldn’t have to see anything far away(or too far away) and I kept going.

I made it to work and grabbed a hot cocoa(with coconut milk) it was delicious. Then I realized it was a huge chunk of calories. While I was beating myself up about that, I got some feedback on my stats homework(I knew it was horrible). Well, it was pretty bad or fill in whatever word that best fits terrible. So, I accepted the feedback and have to move forward. So the plan is to start my write up while I am actually working on my code to run. So that I don’t wait until the last minute for my code to run and not have a write up. That was what happened. I know my professor was frustrated and I was frustrated with myself.

That’s what happens with perfectionist, type-A people, we strive so hard to get things right and we miss some of the dots along the way. So I have to figure out how to shake off this idea that I’m not good enough and that I can’t do something. Just because my code doesn’t work for a day or a week doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I am doing completely. Just because I go about migration at a weird angle doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to do methods, it just means that I have to find out the correct angle to aim for. These are all fixable things and I do not have to keep flogging myself over them.

That’s the beauty of being a work in progress, we continue to strive for progress, not perfection. So I continue to put one foot in front of the other and even though I may have to shed a few tears over my simple mistakes, so be it. I am grateful that I can get feedback, that I can accept it, and that I can learn from it. Because what is life if we aren’t learning. Now of course that doesn’t mean I have to continue to make the same mistakes.

I hope that you have a great day.

Shalom

Namaste

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