I don’t really have a lot of good words to say about the latest in Ferguson or NYC. For people of color, we are not shocked, surprised, or shaken. This outcome and similar situations have happened to people of color forever. Once you experience injustice, you build up a tolerance for it. You still manage to have an inner hope but the injustice just grows and grows and it builds a barrier between your inner hope and reality.
I made a few statements on Facebook last night. Some of my friends chimed in. I made a few comments on others timelines. I basically said that I was going to take a social media break. So this morning I posted a MLK quote. I posted a Ghandi quote on Twitter. My issue is not with a race, it is with all who uphold injustice.
I made a lot of statements last night in reference to a evangelical engager needing to engage the mainstream White church about their denial of racism in the US and the world for that matter. Finally after about thirty replies, a Christian called me stupid. I never resorted to name calling. I just mentioned that I was so used to it.
I cried a lot last night. It goes deeper than sadness, it is more like epic disappointment with humanity. I mentioned to a few people that I thought the powers that be wanted Ferguson to play out the way that it did so that they could show the younger generation what Watts, or Detroit looked like(instead of having them read books or look at Youtube).
Last night I cried a little because I think I didn’t have any more tears left. I sent up half worded aching prayers because only God can understand.
This morning I woke up before my three alarms and I went for a run. I met up with a few friends and we talked about it. It was nice to get some things off of my chest. It was also nice to hear my friends’ thoughts about how they saw the world. What some fail to realize is that Ferguson is not an isolated incident and it speaks volumes.
This morning I got up and ate breakfast.
I am trying to get myself recentered so I am trying to be aware of what I consume. This morning I had a greek yogurt and a hot tea. Nothing brings awareness like hot tea(especially the first sip). So I am going to try and channel my words, feelings, being into my papers.
I am working on my papers. Trying to instill more peace into every interaction and drinking more tea.