This morning a guy who I have a lot of respect for tweeted that the church has its teaching about pre-marital sex wrong. Basically people should be allowed to have pre-marital sex(when I say people I mean believers). So I fired off a few questions. He fired back a few responses and I fired off more questions.
Here’s my thing, if you think that everything the church teaches is wrong(as some people do), why would you continue to go to church or consider yourself to be a believer? As you all know I am a Christian(a liberal on the outside and a conservative on the inside lol). I grew up with teachings about not having sex before marriage, it wasn’t an option it was the rule.
I actually can’t think of any church that teaches that sex before marriage is okay. Either I missed something or I’m just not aware. I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about most faiths. Obviously we all have free will. But the Bible says “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man”(Prov 14:12 KJV).
Even through all of my sexual abuse, I believed in saving sex until marriage. Now, all of that went out of the window after I started partying and faced a lot of pressure to just loosen up and get it over with(I had faced a lot of family pressure about it as well). So I partied, stopped going to church and starting having a ton of pre-marital sex. Do you know if I could take those moments of my life back I would, in a freaking heart beat. But I can’t. So I am left with more shame and guilt than I ever had before I started going my own way.
So in an effort to heal from past relationships and grow in a new direction, I stopped having pre-marital sex(and then I met my ex whose answer was to put a ring on it). But since that time, I have been walking solo. Is it hard, sure. But I wouldn’t tell anyone to have pre-marital sex because it brings too much pain, drama, and risk of STI’s and HIV/AIDS. Most women are unable to have sex void of emotion(as most men are able to) and as a result, when the one night stand or xxmonth relationship is over, the woman is left hurt.
So yeah I do feel envious for people who have been able to save themselves for marriage because they are living life free from excess drama, shame, guilt, and pain. Because at the end of the day, a great guy wants a virtuous woman. Not someone filled with baggage. That could also be one reason why it is easier for me to be celibate because there isn’t anyone in the picture to question it. I know you are probably saying, well Gemma, that’s your issue and your problem. Agreed, and it was my shortsightedness that caused me to give in to my hunger for connection and get left with an emptier void of loneliness.
When was the last time something someone said(in real life or on the Internet) envoked a huge response from you?