When The World Tells You That Your Life Doesn’t Matter


I woke up at 3am to knocking at my door. I was knocked out sleep so when I awoken I thought it was 5am. I yelled out who is it, who’s there? No reply. I looked out of the peep holes and couldn’t see anyone. I heard the knocks again. Same reply. I was freaked out. I hopped on facebook because that’s my usual wakeup habit. I liked a few things then I fell back asleep.

This morning I saw a few neighbors and asked them if that had happened before. They all said no. I let the maintenance man know. He advised me to call the police(that I should have called the police). Well, since I am not a stranger to calling the police(I have all of the substation numbers and the non emergency number in my phone, I have a few officers cards in my wallet). So I called the non emergency line. My call kept dropping so I in essence spoke to three different officers. They basically said that there was nothing that they could do and that if it happens again tonight, then I can call back and make a report.

Here’s my issue, why not just take everyone’s report down as being serious(to at least alleviate the person’s fears). Also, if anything else does happen, you can at least have a record to say that you were aware of the situation. That makes much more sense to me. This reminds me of the time that I reported a rape and the officers said that I was really behind the eight ball because I didn’t let them know sooner.

The crazy thing is I almost opened the door. I went up to the door and made sure the locks were locked. It took me a minute to realize that no one actually knows where I live(like people who I would have over) and that they would not come over at three am because I don’t party like that anymore.

So I guess I feel like if something bad does happen to me, everyone will just blame me after the fact because I failed to follow some illogical procedure.

That’s my rant of the day on not feeling protected.



2 responses »

  1. How frightening! I remember nights of pushing my dresser up against the front door, and they way my heart pounded. Being dismissed by police officers can’t have helped your feeling safe.

    Liked by 1 person

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