“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” James 1:2 NLT

     Today I woke up a tad late after staying in bed due to a small drama filled night(which I blogged about). I just decided that I was going to be late, I got ready, I ate breakfast. I made it to the bus. I made my way to my destination filled with interesting messages and an unexpected phone call. 

     I got to where I needed to be. I was rearing to go, when someone dismissed me. Literally and out loud. I could not believe that I had just been dismissed(didn’t expect it), of course it has happened to me before. I stayed calm. I walked away. I found an area that was in my realm of concern and attended to it. 

     I went about my day. I walked to a bus stop and realized I had to go to another. I had to take a new bus and a new route. I was happy to have a good book to read. The bus was a tad scary because the bus kept flying through stops. I thought I was going to miss my stop(the stop I had planned in my head) and I was able to get off closer to my destination. 

     I met some really cool people who also run(we compared mile paces). I had a difficult conversation with someone who I had started to care for. I think he kind of gets it but thinks that I am going to change my mind. One thing about me is I hold on to past actions. I am happy for new actions to replace the old ones, but when they don’t, my go to are the old actions. That may be because I have not had too many occasions where people treated me one way and then treated me differently. It is usually an even keel of if the person is treated me poorly they consistently treat me poorly and if they treated me well, they consistently treat me well. I think that I can only be treated well by new people who have the opportunity to treat me well. 

     I asked all of my trusted in real life friends for their advice regarding online dating and alas no one really wants to tell me what to do. So I have decided to give it a few more months(because I am really about to be super busy and I don’t need anything to get in the way of that). In the meantime, I plan to draw closer to the Lord, because He has a plan for me and it is good. Better than anything that I could think of. 

     I am keeping my head held high because I am sticking to my boundaries and standards. At least I am doing what I am supposed to do and even though so many guys seem to not be able to understand, I’m not giving up on myself or giving in that easily. Even though I have made so many mistakes in the past, God looks beyond my faults and sees me as I really am. So just because some joe schmoe can’t see all of my good qualities, doesn’t mean I have to diminish them. 

     I have an early day tomorrow so I need to act like I am going to bed. Do any of you struggle with getting enough sleep? A friend asked me about my semester coming to a close and I said that I didn’t want to think about it. I am happy that it is happening but it feels like I am going down a roller coaster. I don’t really like a lot of change and a lot of change is coming my way in the next few weeks. I am continuing to give these issues over in prayer. 







4 responses »

  1. Someone who has love in their heart will not treat you poorly, nor anyone else. If the person who treated you poorly before still has hate in their heart, they can and probably will still treat you poorly. But you’ve probably seen God transform at least a few people’s hearts, so there is always that possibility. I know I was a pretty terrible and hateful person 10+ years ago.

    I am always surprised to hear you continue struggling with online dating. Are you including unique and interesting information about yourself in the profile? Staying positive and upbeat? Demonstrating your passion for the written word? I’d think you’d be fighting men off with a cattle prod. Or are you getting plenty of interest, and just having a hard time figuring out which ones are sincere, decent guys worth meeting offline?

    Sorry to prod on the dating since I know it’s private. I just… you really seem like a girl with a lot to offer. Well, no matter how stupid the guys on dating sites are, may you be happy and healthy.


  2. Thank you for your encouragement and support Richard. Yes, I have included all of those things that you mention. What happens is, as soon as a “nice guy” reads my profile, he messages me for sex and it repulsed at the fact that I am celibate. So,since I am not changing my stance anytime soon, I really am not sure how long I can stand to online date.


  3. I wish I had better advice, but I can only think of a few things that you’re definitely smart enough to already know. Maybe, just possibly you happened to overlook them, so I guess I’ll still mention them.
    If you’re actually using “celibate” to describe yourself to guys, you might try different wording. Celibate conjures unrealistic images of priests and nuns that never have a sexual thought in their life, which doesn’t feel like the picture you want to paint. And always stay positive instead of negative, so focus on wanting to snuggle up and watch a movie if you want that in a relationship, instead of focusing on what you don’t want.
    If you can think of any way I can help more, don’t hesitate to ask. I can critique a girl’s profile, but surprisingly I have no experience with guys sending me messages for sex =) I’m just not sure how to help in that department.
    It’s a new month today. I hope you have 31 days of happiness and joy in May.


  4. Thank you Richard. I actually don’t describe myself as celibate. I just let them know in a message that I’m not looking for sex when they attempt to proposition me. I hope you have a month of happiness as well.


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