Hello blog readers and viewers. Sorry I haven’t written anything new in a few days. I have been trying to add some older posts here and there and I also decided to put my hat back into the online dating arena(today is day four). I know many of you already know my thoughts on online dating. I think positively of it, but my results aren’t great. I mentioned my difficulties to a few Christian single organizations and they all advised me to take a break from it(even though I said I have been on and off since 2006, that is eight years of being on or taking a break). I tell my friends of the different things that I experience, but no one seems to believe me(as if I would want to make this stuff up).
Sorry if this blog post comes off weird. I have a lot to say and don’t know the best way to format what I am going to say. Ok, so first I was chatting with a few guys when one of them asked me to coffee. I agreed. As soon as we sit down for coffee(tea), the guy starts yawning. I do my best to stay engaged. The conversation doesn’t flow. Then he tells me his worst online dating story(which I then tell to two other people). I could not believe the story was true and I told him if that had happened to me, I would have stopped online dating completely. He mentioned that he had had his profile up for four years. That is when it clicked and I realized that he did not have current pics on his profile. We agreed to end the date. I didn’t feel any chemistry(I think there should be a little at least). He told me that I acted different. I told him that I was just tired. I mean at one point I had to go get water(and have small talk with some of the baristas I know).
The next day I have conversations with a few more people. What I realize is that Christian guys are not messaging me(or replying back when I message them). So most of the guys messaging me are agnostic, atheist, or ‘free thinkers’. Here are some of the messages that I receive:
FakeDoc: We should hang out. Was just thinkin of a movie. Relaxin.Me: No thanks
Race Car Wannabe: Hey sexy! You’re gorgeous! Where are you from sexy? What are you dong?Me: No thanks
Rugby player: U look like trouble in a good way lol Me: I wouldn’t say that. How about you? Is that what you’re looking for?RP: Yes. I’m a fun guy Me: That’s cool, What do you like to do for fun?RP: Well, I like to play games. U think u can keep up;) U went quiet.Me: What kind of games? Sorry I went to the gym.RP: Sexy games Me: Oh ok. Well good luck, I have to pass on those.
Eurodude: Sometimes I’m just looking for a bit of fun Me: Oh ok. I hope you find what you are looking for. ED: What do you think about teasing a guy?Me:?ED: You wouldn’t be too shy to tease a guy who is interesting in your eyes?Me: No ED: You never like to go crazy?Me: Nope ED: Why not?Me: Because I am a Christian
Earlier in the day when I was working out, a young guy approached me and asked me for my number. I knew he was too young(23) but I gave him my number anyway(big mistake). He called me and said he was calling because he thought I gave him a fake number. He kept asking me what I was doing and I told him laundry(which I was). So he asked me if he was too young for me and I said yes. I told him that he had the whole world ahead of him and I would only slow him down, plus I am sure his Mom would be through the roof(that’s a thought that I like to think). He called me a few more times asking if we could be friends and I said no it wouldn’t be a good idea.
Then a guy asked me to go on a jogging date. Of course I agreed. It seemed like it was going well, until he told me his whole life story. He got out of a relationship a few months ago. I figured that there must be something written on my forehead that says “Tell me your problems”. After he dropped me off, he called me. After a friendly chat, he told me that he could not be in a relationship without being intimate. I told him that I totally understood but I was just at a different place in my life right now.
So I mentioned this to a few other guys last night and here is the response I was given:
Freethinker dude: Ah, well. Sorry to waste your time. That wouldn’t work for me, either. You might want to put that in your profile. That’s definitely a deal-breaker for me, and probably a lot of other people as well. For up to like 4-6 dates, general consensus would say that’s expected, but after that if things aren’t happening, I don’t know.I hope you find someone that’s able to respect that, and or have that going for them, too. 🙂 I don’t know that I could have a romantic relationship with someone that’s not interested in sex. I’ll just leave what I have to say at that to be as polite as possible. I hope that how you choose to live your life works out for you. You seem like a lovely woman.
Me: Thanks for your honesty.
I’d put it under “You should message me…” I’d say something like “In accordance with my faith and beliefs I’m not open to sex before marriage”. I haven’t really had to consider that. I’m sure there’s some way that’ll be easy for you to communicate yet communicate it how you want it said.No worries, you seem like a charming woman. Pragmatically, you have a lovely smile and a great body so I’m sure someone could cope with it. I wouldn’t throw you out of bed for eating crackers. 😛
Also while I was in the midst of all of this my ex decided to look me up and attempt to pick things up where they had left off(on his terms). At first I thought it was a nice gesture, but now I know that he is just as lazy if not lazier than before. So my attitude is a big ole whatever.
So what do you think? If you were in my position, would you continue to put yourself into the madness called online dating? Would you decide to be done with it for good? A friend told me to pray about it and ask God what He wants me to do (which I have). On one site I have had 141 people visit my profile. Maybe 20 of those sent a message. On the other site, 242 people have visited my profile and 32 have messaged me. Also, if you suggest I continue to online date, what would be a good time frame? One person suggested until you meet someone you actually want to spend time with.
Some of the messages I received, I just deleted and didn’t even respond to. So that’s what I have been up to. I guess all I can say is keep me in your prayers.