The Non Relationship-a request


     Urban dictionary defines a non relationship as “The grey area in between taking the plunge into a committed relationship and platonic friendship. Often due to indecision on the part of one or more parties involved. Symptoms might include, holding hands, non-committal sex, spending an inordinate amount of time together, flirting on text messages.’Sam and Jane have been having this non-relationship for months now, they need to decide whether or not they are going out or not.'”

     I had a conversation today with a friend who had to break off a non relationship. As I listened and absorbed the concept, my first link was oh a non relationship is a one night stand. It is something involving two people that means absolutely nothing and one of the two people attempts to define the undefinable. 

     I have tons of experience with non relationships although, I am not presently involved in one thank God. For me a non relationship always involves my giving and hopes and dreams while the other person only takes. A non relationship is a negative in the life of the person who is attempting to have it be defined. A non relationship always helps the one who is not defining it move into a real relationship when they decide to because they want to be in a relationship with someone else. 

     If you wrap yourself up into a non relationship for too long, you start to think that they are normal and that you are too busy to be in a mutually beneficial relationship because all of your time and energy are being consumed by this nothingness of your own creation. Sadly this is also what happens when you have a crush on a person and you do not do anything to let the person know or attempt to see if you can build a relationship or friendship or just talk to the person. 

     Non relationships are a total waste of time but I am sure they serve as some sort of comfort buffer for the person who is creating them. If you are in the middle of one, please give it a short amount of time and move on, for your own good. Non relationships only seem to work out in the movies(i.e. She’s All That). So having hope that your non relationship is going to pan out only puts you in the exception category when you need to be in the rule category. 

     If a guy has no problem with you building a non relationship with him, please know that you are only building up his ego and you could be doing so much more with your time and energy. I don’t really have any cute or funny stories to add to this idea because all of my non relationships reek of sadness and desperation. In my defense, I wasn’t ever really good at keeping my non relationships secret, so the guys always knew. Then when I was rejected, I politely got over them. Now I think that I am a pro at crush rejection, but that is probably a post for another day. 

Take it from me, non relationships are a waste of time and I can think of a million things you would be better off doing. 



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