Father, we are so thankful for Your redeeming grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt. This is possible because of the blood of Jesus which was poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. Where our sin increased, Your grace increased all the more. Your refuge for our sin-filled souls took place at the cross of Calvary where Jesus shed His precious blood so that we might find forgiveness for our sins. This salvation is marvelous; it is matchless and it is infinitely greater than the animal blood sacrifice that took away sins for only a season. Christ’s redeeming blood sacrifice frees us from the penalty of sin in this life and for all eternity. We thank You, Jesus, for freely shedding Your blood on our behalf and it is in Your name that we pray. Amen.
The blood that Christ shed on the cross for us,it the payment for all that we did and will do in our imperfection. The more I spend time thinking about Christ’s sacrifice, I realize that I truly can never be equal or would ever be able to do the same. Only by Christ’s sacrifice, can I walk in freedom today.
Today I started my day with the daily reading from the Twenty Four Hours book and some worship music. I love music. I believe it goes down deep into the soul, kind of like the Holy Spirit. I remember when I was young and we were told to get rid of all of our secular music in church. I actually did that a few times in my life. I think it is good to have a balance in our lives. Now that I am older, I definitely understand the reason why it is important to have positive, uplifting music in our lives. How can I expect to get peace in my spirit when I am listening to vulgar, disrespectful words? So I am trying to do a better job of having more balance in my music choices.
Then I went to a couple of meetings that were really encouraging. Being in the fellowship makes me realize its not all about me, its about all of us. One of the old timers who really helped me when I had a few weeks sober asked me where the people I came in with were, I said that they had relapsed or died. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful and if you believe that you don’t know anyone who is struggling, you aren’t looking hard enough.
After one of the meetings a guy came up to me and started flirting with me. I was shocked but attempted to listen to what he was saying anyway. He told me that we had met a year ago and that he had offered me a ride but I had said no. I said, yeah that sounds about right. Then I remembered. He told me that I smelled good. I replied that that is what happens when you get sober, you start showering. So just picture me, with a bag of fifteen library books(not that hot). I asked him if he had a sponsor. He said that he was looking for one. I know what you are going to say. He asked me if I was available. I laughed and said no, but I had some really great guys I could introduce him to. So I did. I introduced him to a few good sober guys.
That’s really all I can do for people who are new in recovery. He will have a year soon. Now I have no clue why guys with under a year gravitate towards me. I just tell them all to see me when they get a year. I pray for them all. I think it is so neat when people are able to meet other people in recovery. When people are working strong programs, it is a beautiful thing. So yes, even though I am single and saved and perpetually always looking for the next person to be in a relationship with, I know that I want God’s best for me. That means whatever I have to sacrifice, like my ego and pride, I am willing to do it because I want God’s best(in the way He intends) like a thirsty man wants water.
I mean God has brought me this far. Through so much misguided self-will run riot. So now that I am actually listening, how can I even hint at thinking that He can’t handle this? Because the last thing I need is veering off course for something or someone that God did not tell me to choose.
Then when I went to the library to return my fifteen books only to get a new set of fifteen, I realized, maybe its easier to just have books in my corner. Because books are safe and won’t destroy my life the way a bad relationship could. I also thought, who could understand my need to read? Not very many people. So yeah, I still need a lot of prayer. I mean sometimes I wonder if I am even half of the person that God intends me to be. I always think there is so much more that I can do.
Well, I hope you have a great day!
Keep me in your prayers as you are in mine.