Sacrifice-Lent Day 14

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Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying, through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and make him known; and through him, at all times and in all places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.(From the Book of Common Prayer)

     It is too awesome to think of the great sacrifice Christ paid for us. It is humbling and amazing at the same time. A debt that we can never repay. What a blessing. How often we take it for granted. So today I am thankful for all of my blessings, like being able to wake up and take sinus medicine, being able to walk and slowly recover. These are true gifts. 

     In other news, I only lasted one week online dating. That is sure to be a new record for me. I was on three sites this time. One secular and two Christian. On the free site, one hundred and forty-eight guys had viewed my profile and maybe fifteen messaged me. I did my best to message back most of the guys who visited my profile. It just clicked that it is silly for me to wait by the computer for guys to message me when I can live my life(and still shake my head in wonder at real guys who don’t give me the time of day). I deleted all three accounts. 

     It cannot be a fluke that I am single. So it just keeps dawning on me that I have to actually start to accept my reality. I am single and there really isn’t a darn thing that I can do about it(especially since I want a guy to pursue). Because don’t get me wrong, I have no problem lassoing a guy but the results aren’t pretty. 

    So if you are out there married or in a relationship, keep praying for all of us singles. Because it sure is hard out here. I can only speak for my own experiences. I have enough stories to fill a room. I also just realized that I have so many friends who have not had half of the experiences that I have had in my life and instead of having their own experiences, they just live vicariously through mine. I think that is sad. So I am going to do my best to stop having so many outlandish experiences. 

   It will be nice to one day be able to say hey I have my own house, I have a dog and a cat, I have a job that I am good at, I am secure. That will be a great story to tell. Instead right now, my big worry is if I am going to pay for a cap and gown to essentially have a stole that I already have. Another big worry is how I am going to make it to August because I just don’t know what its going to look like. 

     So all I can do right now is breathe, pray, and put one foot in front of the other. I think the further I stay out of the future, the better my present seems to go. 

Namaste

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