Last night a person that I admire posted a wedding pic that stated “Boyfriends don’t get husband privileges”. Which I promptly shared. This morning I woke up to a friend asking what husband privileges were. I added a short comment but it stuck with me. I know that we all have different definitions of privileges so I am just talking about mine. I googled the issue and apparently a lot of people have talked about the concept. So here are just a few of my ideas based on my experience and the people that I know.
1. A boyfriend has the privilege of taking you out in order to get to know you better.
In my day I spent so much time taking out guys who weren’t even trying to claim the title of my boyfriend. Just because a guy takes you out(even if its fancy) does not mean he deserves anything in return. I learned this lesson when I lived in Korea(sadly it can be rare to find here in the states due to what most guys expect). A husband takes his wife out to show he cares for her(even if its just to your local fast food joint, its always appreciated).
2. A boyfriend has the privilege of dating you exclusively when he decides to make his intentions clear and you are also in agreement.
In my day I considered the smallest smidgen of nothing a sign of exclusivity from guys who didn’t even know how to spell exclusive. A husband has the privilege of dating his wife for the rest of their lives. This is why we are considered single until we are united in marriage because until then, there is nothing legally binding the relationship, either party is free to leave at any time. A boyfriend is excited to call you his girlfriend and let it be known.
3. A boyfriend has the privilege to spend time with you in public.
In my day it was rare for a guy who I spent time with to want to spend time with me in public. How sad. If someone has to hide you from the world, why would you want to continue to be with that person? A husband has the privilege of spending the rest of his life with you(public and private).
4. A boyfriend has the privilege to show signs of affection toward you.
In my day I did not wait for a guy to show me signs of affection, I just threw all I had at him. I’m not judging anyone. At this moment in my life, I think small signs of affection are fine. This shows respect for myself and for my boyfriend. A husband has the privilege of showing all kinds of affection toward his wife because they said I do.
5. A boyfriend does not have the privilege of having you as his personal chef, personal maid, or you fill in the blank.
In my day, I cooked, cleaned, consoled, gave advice, helped out financially, tons of guys who would not even call me their girlfriend. I was just a glorified sidepiece(probably less than that). If you are doing all of these great things for your boyfriend, what would make him take the leap and marry you? A husband has all of these privileges because spouses take care of each other. Its in the vows.
6. A boyfriend does not have the privilege of having sex/benefits/the cookie.
Yes, I said it. Yes, I’ve done it in the past. And yes I regret it all. I have chosen to stop and wait(it has now been a year, a month, a week, and eleven days but whose counting, I’m sure it has been longer than that). My boyfriend was sort of respecting my decision to wait(aka it wasn’t a real relationship). All I can say is that sex won’t make him stay. Sex won’t make him like you more. Sex won’t make him love you. Sex won’t make him go to church. Sex won’t make him see your worth. Sex won’t change him. Sex won’t make your relationship stronger. Sex won’t make him marry you. My ex didn’t put a ring on it because he loved me, he put a ring on it because he didn’t want anyone else to have me. Big difference. The Bible says that your body is a temple. It truly is. When you don’t feel loved, or loveable, you won’t treat yourself as a person of worth. As a result, others won’t see your worth. I can only say this because it happened to me over and over again. At first I thought that I couldn’t stop throwing myself at men(until I stopped). Sure it was lonely at times, wondering where my Prince Charming was. But when you hold tight to your faith and beliefs, God works things out. Not in our time, but His time.
So I sit and pray and give thanks for all of the blessings I have in my life right now. Sure, I can’t wait to shower my future husband with all of the love and happiness I hope to fill our home with one day. But until then I have to wait and be thankful for the lessons learned(the good and the bad) and keep seeking God.