TheSW30(28) A Big,Bold Move

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My whole life is filled with big, bold moves. I am bold in everything I do. I don’t hold back. My brain and heart just tell me the bigger the better.
In life I have no problem talking to people. I am the queen of the interview not necessarily in keeping the job. I feel like as long as I speak authentically and organically I can’t go wrong. Until I do.
I have made big, bold moves for work. I have enjoyed the adventure and lessons learned(I miss you Korea). I always think the grass is greener on the other side because I am always ready for new grass. Until I remember that the grass is new but its the same old me.
I make big bold moves with guys. The same way I have no problem talking to anyone, I have no problem asking a guy out or telling him that I like him. Until I have a guy express interest in me. Then I get freaked out. I’m awkward. I can’t handle it. I don’t believe that the guy really likes me. Even though its the only thing I want.
Today I had an interview and I thought I was in my element. Until I was asked a question that threw me for a loop. My whole demeanor and expression changed. I said I don’t know. I didn’t know what to say. So I was basically made to feel stupid at something that I really wanted and now I don’t even think its going to happen.
So now I’m just in a big bold blob of self doubt. I know that only God knows the outcome, I just wish I could feel differently.
Shalom

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